Home Return
by PhantomGrimalkin
Summary: AU- what could have happened if Odin hadn't been a complete failure at parenting and said something encouraging to his son who clearly needed a kind word instead of just "No, Loki".
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own this. I have never read the comic. This is based solely on the movie. It is clearly not based on the canon and kind of destroys the possibility of the Avenger's movie. Just a "What if" fic of what if Odin hadn't been a complete failure at parenting and said something encouraging to his son who clearly needed a kind word instead of just "No, Loki".

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><p>"I could have done it, father! I could have done it! For you! For all of us!"<p>

Odin sighed to himself and smiled sadly at his son. Would he have done it differently, now that he knew what finding out his true jötunn heritage would do to Loki? Like any father, he truly had only wanted what was best for his sons. Both of them. This was no time for regrets, though, the pain in his son's face was visible and he was in a dangerous position.

"Loki, my son…" Odin said gently, "I know you could have," now was not the time to point out how reckless and damaging what he tried to do was, the Allfather ignored the headache at what he'd have to do to fix the damage his son had just done, "I've always known you were capable of great things. I've always been proud of you, Loki." Perhaps 'always' was a stretch of the truth, he was hardly proud when Loki would get into mischief or when Thor would do something reckless. But, in his heart, he was proud of both of his sons.

"Always?" Loki asked in disbelief.

"My son, I don't think I've been fair to you… I let you stay in Thor's shadow and failed to help you shine on your own right," Odin looked around at the chaos that was still going on, "But now… I'm hardly in a position to apologize properly. Let me get you both to where you're safe."

Loki nodded, dumbfounded for one of the first times in his life. He looked at Odin, his father. The strong and proud man's eye seemed to be pleading with Loki, just as Loki had been silently pleading to his father. He nodded jerkily and looked down, at everything he'd done, missing the relieved smile that came on Odin's face.

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><p>Asgard was abuzz with everything that had happened that day. It was fairly confusing, everyone rejoiced in the return of both Thor and Odin, worried about what was going to happen with the jötunn, and most conversations about Loki ended up in confusion. The warriors 3 couldn't really agree on how to feel about the man, though Sif was firm in her conviction that he was evil.<p>

No one needed to wonder why Loki stayed in his quarters and allowed few visitors. Although there were murmers that he was plotting something else or that it was actually a punishment while the Allfather and Thor worked out what had happened in their absences.

"Brother," Thor said as he walked into Loki's room. He'd been surprised that he was allowed entry, but was glad of it.

Loki was sitting on the ledge of one of the windows, looking out into Asgard. From there he could see the broken bifrost, and just make out Heimdall standing guard at the edge. He didn't turn when his brother walked in, "I didn't mean it."

"What?" Thor asked, taken aback by that.

"When I threatened that human girl, I didn't mean it. I was just trying to get you to fight me," Loki said quietly.

Thor paused for a moment, not sure how to respond. "I'm glad of that, but why did you wish to fight me?"

Loki laughed hollowly. He'd gone over that night's events so many times. He didn't even know why he'd done most of it. "I suppose that I thought, if I beat you, I'd prove that you weren't better than me."

"Brother, I mean no disrespect, but we both know that if you truly wanted to best me- you could easily do so in a contest of cunning," Thor pointed out with a friendly smile. His face still turned away, Loki's lips turned upwards slightly.

After a short silence that was neither tense nor warm, Loki finally turned to face Thor. "I suppose you know by now," he said quietly, "That we aren't _really_ brothers."

Thor made sure that he was looking Loki right in the eyes, now that he was able to, "There is more to brotherhood than blood. We shared our childhood, and for all trouble you got me into you helped me out of just as much. You are as much my brother as you would be if our mother had actually given birth to you."

Again, Loki's lips turned up slightly, but it faded. "That's not all that I mean."

"Yes," the man said, "I know that you are a jötunn." Loki turned away slightly at the word. Another silence, neither really sure what to say. "Why did you try to destroy Jötunnheim?" Thor asked gently.

Ah, that day, so many mistakes. "Do you remember, when we were children, you swore to kill all the Ice Giants?" Thor winced at that, if only it had been something that stayed in his childhood, but on the day he was to be crowned king he had still been so eager to destroy them all. "I don't know, I guess I hoped that… If I killed them, I'd prove that I belong in Asgard. Prove that I wasn't a monster."

"I'm sorry, Loki, if I'd only known that you were… I never would have…" Thor trailed off awkwardly.

Loki turned to his brother with a sad smile, "Neither of us knew. I was right there saying it with you."

The two brothers again fell into silence, looking at each other sadly, various regrets hanging in the air.

"Before I was banished," Thor said hesitantly, "You had never really deceived me. Why did you lie to me? When we were fighting, why did you use your magic to trick me?"

Loki closed his eyes and shook his head. There was no good answer to that. "When you were on Earth and I went to you… I had just found out what I was and then immediately had to take the throne. I…" he sighed to himself, "I think I hated you then. Hated you for being everyone's favorite, hating you for being our father's real son, hated you for being so reckless and putting me in a position where I had to take a throne I'd never wanted."

"You did?" Thor asked sadly.

Loki nodded, "I wanted to hurt you. I thought it would make me feel better to cut you down- but it didn't." He smiled bitterly, "I also wanted to make sure you'd stay on Earth. I'd come up with a ridiculous scheme to make myself a hero in the eyes of the Asgardians. You know how well that worked out."

"I should have listened to you, we never should have gone to Jötunnheim, none of this would have happened," Thor said, angry at the way he had once been.

"No, it wouldn't have," Loki agreed, smiling gently at his brother, "You never would have matured into a person worthy of the thrown of Asgard. You never would have met that woman. And, I don't think either of us would like to know how you would have reacted to finding out I was a jötunn the way you were."

Thor looked down at that last point, "Why are you saying this?"

"Brother," Loki said softly, addressing Thor as such for the first time since his banishment, "Your most reckless, bullheaded, immature, unthinking act turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to you."

"The ends do not justify the means," Thor reminded him, "And it turned out to be the worst thing that happened to you."

Loki looked away again. "Has father come up with any plans to fix what I've done to Jötunnheim?"

Thor sighed at the change of topic, "There's not much he can do with the bifrost destroyed. You know that," his tone saddened, "it was the only way between worlds."

Loki looked at his brother, who was now staring out through the window, past Loki, at the broken bifrost. It was clear that he was missing her, that human girl he had fallen in love with.

"Thor, I also didn't mean that," Loki said quietly.

"Didn't mean what?" Thor asked, not really paying attention, wrapped up in memories of Jane and the pain of the promise he broke.

Loki walked over to his brother and placed a hand on his shoulder, "You _will_ see her again."

This broke Thor out of his thoughts and he furrowed his brows, "But, with the bifrost broken-"

"There are other ways between the worlds," Loki told him, trying to smile warmly but only managing a sad smile, "We will find a way to get you back to Earth."

He stared at Loki, hardly daring to believe it. He searched for any signs that this was a lie, but it seemed genuine. Thor gulped, "Loki, please, do not give me false hope."

"I cannot promise it will be soon, but I swear to you that there is a way," Loki said firmly.

"Thank you," Thor said, closing his eyes and smiling. He had been checking with Heimdall each day to see how she was doing- so long as Jane had not given up hope on him, he would not give up hope, either.

"The Casket of Ancient Winters must be returned to the Jötunn. It is the source of their power, they will be able to undo the damage I have caused," Loki said quietly.

"I think father will agree, if you can get us to Jötunheim to return it."

The trickster shook his head, "No- I need to be the one to do it. It's _all_ my fault and besides," he sighed, "I'm one of them, it feels right."

"I won't let you go alone, it'd be too dangerous- they could kill you," Thor said, suddenly feeling very helpless for the first time in his life.

Loki brought his hand to his chin thoughtfully, "This sort of thing needs to be done very delicately. I'm sorry, Thor, but after your last visit I just don't think it's a good idea for you to go. Perhaps there's a way that I can signal you and father if things go badly and I need help."

Thor nodded reluctantly. Loki was right. Both of them needed to accept the results of their actions, and for Thor that meant letting his brother walk into a dangerous situation alone.

"Loki," Thor said quietly, "I'm not sure you know, but, well, anyone except our family who finds out about this will think it's a trick. That you'll go and restore their power and help them use it against us." He looked away, "It's… very hard to tell whose side you're on."

"I know, " Loki said, torn between the sadness of isolation and being a bit proud that he was as indecipherable as ever. "I don't know that I'm on a side right now… I just…" he sighed, "I don't know who I am right now, and I feel like I have to do this."

"There are better ways to work out who you are than to walk into Jötunnheim alone and risk further ostracizing yourself from the Asgardians," Thor said gently.

"Thor, were you _blind_ or just that self-absorbed?" Loki snapped before realizing that his brother was only trying to help. He sighed, "I've never really fit in here, which was made incredibly plain when you were exiled. Those who I would have liked to call friend only cared to tell me off for sending Heimdall to get help then, as soon as I leave the room, accuse me of… I don't even know what they were thinking." He would rather not admit that part of why he'd done such thoughtless things was partly because he thought '_Why not, if that's what they think I am I might as well meet their expectations_'.'

He sighed, "My _brother_ had been exiled, I had no idea when or if I'd see you again, and I don't think it crossed anyone's mind to ask me how I felt about it."

"I'm sorry," Thor said somewhat awkwardly. "Are you thinking about staying in Jötunnheim? Is that why you want to go alone, so that we can't talk you out of it?"

"I don't know."

"Loki-" Thor started, before being cut off.

"I don't know where I belong, Thor. I don't feel much connection to anyone outside of yourself and our parents. I don't know if that's because of… _what_ I am, if I'll feel more connected to the Jötunn. My only plans are to try and fix what I have done and also to figure out who I am," Loki explained. His brother nodded.

"When we ask father about your plan, we shouldn't tell him that," Thor said quietly. Loki nodded. "You weren't lying before, though, you _will_ find a way so that if you're in trouble you can call to us for help, won't you?"

"I will," Loki said, smiling gently at his brother. Thor smiled sadly back at him.

"I will go to our father and tell him that you wish to speak to him," Thor said, turning and leaving the room.

Loki nodded, resuming his place on the window sill.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I didn't expect such a response!

Sheherazade's Fable : He could have pulled them up before answering what Loki had said, too. He didn't seem too big on it. I also imagine that it was difficult enough to keep a hold of them what with the thing that was trying to suck them in.

Odin had felt it was best to call Loki into the throne room for the conversation. Frigga suggested a less formal setting, since it was just for the family. Perhaps a nice dinner for just the four of them, now that Thor was home and Odin was no longer in Odinsleep, a chance to have the family together again. Thor suggested it would be better to have it in Loki's chambers, the place he was most comfortable. Thor did not say that this would also keep him from having to walk around Asgard, considering most of the population's feelings towards the "God of Mischief".

So it was to the surprise of no one involved that Loki found himself walking through the halls of Asgard for the first time since Thor's return. Both his brother and mother had offered to accompany him, but he insisted upon going alone. He was willing to take the looks, the whispering that sometimes was purposefully just loud enough to ensure he heard what they had to say. He deserved it. This was not the result of self-pity by any stretch, it was a very subjective thought. Loki had single-handedly attempted genocide, he deserved considerably more than anything anyone in Asgard would do to a son of Odin.

Well, perhaps it was a bit of self-flagellation on his part. A sad hope that subjecting himself to this would help him to atone. Loki's lips turned upward at this thought. That was just for making himself feel better, in an ironic sort of way. He was smart enough to know it didn't _fix_ anything,

He walked into the throne room, returning the looks that the guards standing outside gave him with a warm smile. His father sat in the throne, Frigga standing to his right and Thor to his left. As the doors closed behind him, he took a deep breath and tried his best to maintain his composure as he walked towards his father. The hall seemed at once longer than it ever had, and far too short.

"Father," he said as confidently as he could manage, his voice cracking slightly. Frigga smiled gently at him. He cleared his throat before addressing her and Thor, "Mother, Brother."

"There's something you wish to discuss with me, son?" Odin asked. While the question itself could easily have been warm, from Odin's booming, ever solemn voice it sounded distant, like he was addressing anyone.

"Jötunnheim. I wish to fix what I have done," Loki said, looking his father in the eye, his voice steady this time.

"There's no way to now that the bifröst is broken, you should know that," Odin replied, shaking his head.

Loki swallowed, "There are ways." Odin raised his eyebrows at this, Frigga turned to her husband with a look of concern. "I have traveled to and from Jötunnheim in the past using these ways."

"When did this happen?" Frigga asked, raising an eyebrow.

Loki closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, "I was the one who helped the jötunn into Asgard on the day Thor was to be crowned king."

Thor cast his eyes down and shook his head. Frigga sighed, "Oh, Loki…" Both of these reactions were drowned out by Odin's booming, "You _what?_"

The allfather was at his feet now, eyes flashing. Loki reopened his at this point and met his father's gaze, not without flinching. "I…" he sighed, and looked down, "Thor was not ready to be king of Asgard. You know this now. I knew of no other way to prevent it."

"Telling me your thoughts didn't seem like a better idea than _breaching_ our defenses? Than putting _all of Asgard_ at risk?"

Loki fixed his father with a determined stare, his eyes now flashing as well. Odin faltered so briefly that it was impercievable. "Yes, because you have a history of being _so open_ to hearing when people disagree with you."

Odin's lips tightened. Frigga quickly covered her mouth and furrowed her brow to avoid showing that this had brought a small smile to her lips.

"I did not _breach_ our defenses. I did not _teach_ any jötunn the method, I brought in so few that they would be easily overpowered- which they were."

"Two guards died that day," Odin snarled.

"How many would have died in the war that Thor had wanted since he was a child?" Loki asked quietly. Odin looked to his other son, who only looked away. They both knew it was true. Thor would never have been exiled if it weren't.

Odin sat back, "So you know a way into Jötunnheim. What do you wish to do, exactly?"

The young man took a deep breath. He hadn't expected that to be the end of it. "I…" he faltered for a moment before straightening his posture, "I first wish to return their casket, then find what else needs to be done and what I can do."

There was silence for a few moments as the allfather thought over this request.

"Given their weakened state, it would be safe enough to return their power source. That act of faith should restore some of the ill-will your actions have no doubt garnered," Odin said quietly, "How many would you like to accompany you?"

"None."

"No!" Frigga said, "It's not safe. Loki, you aren't a fighter like your brother, you couldn't defend yourself against them, even if they are weakened."

Loki turned to his mother with an apologetic glance, "Please," he said gently, "Don't worry for me, mother. I know the dangers." He looked at Thor, who nodded, before turning his gaze back to his father, "I wish to go alone, but with a way to alert you if I need help."

"I'll have Heimdall watch you as well," Odin said, nodding his agreement. He raised an eyebrow at Loki, "And Heimdall _will_ be able to keep a watch on you the entire time."

Loki smiled, completely unsurprised that Heimdall had mentioned that, "Of course."

"That went surprisingly well," Thor said, proudly clapping his brother's shoulder as he accompanied him back to his chambers despite mild protest. The looks were now done much more carefully and followed awe-filled greetings to Thor. Somehow they hurt more that way.

"Yes," he replied quietly, wishing that standing in Thor's shadow rendered him invisible literally rather than just metaphorically.

"Oh, come now, brother, you're getting what you asked for. You even stood up to father! And he listened!" Thor laughed, "I wonder who the last person to do that was…"

"Thor," Loki said quietly, "in case you haven't noticed, every single person we pass regards me with distrust at best, when you aren't looking people are glaring daggers at me. Can we please not discuss this matter publically?"

Thor stopped for a moment, the hallway they were in was far from crowded but people were passing. He looked around, he had only noticed the warm welcomes he had been getting and assumed that they were also being given to Loki.

It took the other man a moment to realize Thor had stopped. He turned back, "What is it?"

"I really am blind to it, aren't I?" Thor asked quietly, ignoring another greeting and looking at his brother sadly, "I don't see the way people react to you. I've always thought we got the same greetings and treatments."

Loki looked his brother up and down for a moment. "Are you coming, then?" he asked after the silence had been drawn out more than enough.

"Yeh," he said, catching up with Loki. The two continued on in silence, Loki spending most of it regarding his brother, who was now making a conscious effort to notice the looks people were giving Loki.

'_Well, this is a lovely conversation,_' Loki thought with a sigh, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder and giving him a reassuring smile that Thor returned half-heartedly.

"I believe that I'm the one who should be comforting you here," Thor pointed out.

Loki shrugged, "Thor, I have been dealing with these sort of looks from some people, albeit not quite on this scale, since I learned how to play pranks. I'm used to it."

"It… would be easier for people to trust you if you weren't such a trickster," Thor admitted quietly.

"Oh, you wish I had never become one?" Loki asked, feigning shock.

The blonde Asgardian bristled slightly at that, "It _would_ make things easier on you."

"Ah, but think, if it weren't for my tricks you wouldn't have Mjöllnir and father wouldn't have a spear that never misses its target," Loki reminded him.

"And you would never have gotten your mouth sewn together with thick leather straps."

Loki winced at touched the skin around his lips at that particular memory. The scars weren't particularly visible, his pale skin helped hide them, though some people still "affectionately" called him Scar-Lip. "I suppose I deserved that."

"Indeed you did, brother," Thor said with a laugh.

"As I was saying," Thor continued after they'd reached Loki's chambers, "That had went surprisingly well."

"I believe that father had also learned much while you were in exile," Loki agreed, collapsing into a chair.

"Oh?"

The trickster looked up at the ceiling, "After feeling he had to exile you and after I…" he trailed off, not at all proud that his outburst at discovering he was a jötunn forced his father into Odinsleep. He pulled his head up to look at Thor with a tight smile, "I think he may have reexamined his thoughts on parenting."

Thor raised an eyebrow but did not press for what would have come after the 'after I'. He instead shook his head, "I should have listened to him more as we were growing up. He tried to teach me so much that I only half-listened to. I only wanted to hear about the glory of battle, I ignored all he had told me about the horrors of war."

"Yes, but he may have realized that sooner if he hadn't been so proud," Loki looked away, "I think he was so proud of both of us that he couldn't see our faults. That's part of what hurt him so much when he exiled you, what forced him into Odinsleep. He couldn't bare admit to himself that, in some ways, he had failed us."

"They were still our faults, our responsibilities."

Loki cocked his head to one side, "Even as children, Thor?"

His brother said nothing to this. There was a silence for a few moments, Thor walked to the window and looked out.

"You won't be staying in Jötunnheim, then?" he asked, turning to his brother hopefully, "If Heimdall is watching you, father or mother could easily stop you if you tried to."

Loki rolled his eyes, "I doubt very much Heimdall would be _leaping_ to prevent me from staying away for good." Thor's face fell a bit. "I won't be staying this trip, though I may later. I'm just going to find out if I can help and start trying to make amends. Besides," Loki smiled to his brother, "I have a promise to keep."

"What?" Thor asked.

"I promised that you will see that mortal woman again, and I very much intend to do _everything_ in my powers to keep that promise," he said, looking his brother in the eye with a straight face.

Thor's face broke into a smile so bright and wide that it seemed as if he had become his own light source. Loki couldn't help but smile back, albeit half-heartedly.

A/N: I'd like to reiterate that I do _not_ read the comics. I don't know if Mjölnir or Odin's staff (it has a name, but I don't have internet at the moment) have different origins in them, but in the Norse Myths- Loki cut off the hair of Thor's wife while she slept and had to go to ask the elves (I think) to weave gold string that would attach to her head. They also made a spear that never missed its target for Odin and a ship for another goddess, which could be folded up and fit in the pocket. On the way back, Loki got the idea to show the dwarves what the elves had made and bet them that they couldn't make better gifts- if they could, they could have Loki's head. They made a golden boar, something else (I forget what), and Mjölnir. While they were working, Loki had transformed himself into a fly and bit them to try to make them mess up, the only time he succeeded was when a dwarf was working on Mjölnir- he bit the dwarf's eyelid and blood got into the dwarf's eye so he messed up and Mjölnir ended up up with a short handle.

Mjölnir was judged to be a better gift than what the elves had made, and when the dwarves went to collect on Loki's head- he pointed out that he didn't say they could have any of his neck. In return, they "sewed" his mouth shut using the materials they had on hand- an awl and leather straps.

He really did deserve that.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki couldn't help but think that Heimdall took a bit too much pleasure in telling him all the damage he'd done to Jötunnheim. The guardian remained civil in the allfather's presence, but the trickster still felt he embellished on the damage more than he may have needed to just because he knew it'd make Loki squirm.

Loki did his best not to let the guilt he felt show too much, but that only seemed to make Heimdall's descriptions more gruesome.

Part of the preparations for Loki's journey included having Heimdall use his powers to determine as well he could the damage that had occurred. He was also supposed to find a safe enough place for Loki to land, and the trickster loathed having to trust him on this. They weren't exactly on the best terms, given everything that had happened. While this was primarily Loki's fault, it still didn't mean he had to trust the guardian.

"It sounds like enough is in tact to make the trip worthwhile," Odin said after he decided that he had heard enough. Frigga nodded her agreement.

"Their rebuilding is fractured right now, but one effort is considerably larger than the rest, Loki may want to arrive near the largest group," Heimdall said to them, purposefully speaking as if Loki weren't in the room, "The leader of that group is most likely to end up in charge of Jötunnheim as a whole."

'_They'll also be most likely to have enough strength to overpower me,_' Loki thought to himself, tightening his lips. Heimdall wasn't wrong, though, and given the plan it would not benefit Heimdall to send him into danger just for him to have to call in reinforcements.

"And Loki explained to you how to get to Jötunnheim should you need to?" Heimdall asked.

"Yes, he did," Odin said, not caring to elaborate more than that. Heimdall said nothing to this, "I believe that is all we will be needing from you now, Heimdall, you may resume your post." The guard placed his fist over his heart and bowed to the allfather before leaving in silence.

"I'll leave in the morning, then, father?" Loki asked after the guardian had left the throne room.

"So soon?" Frigga sighed, she felt like she only just got her family back only to lose one of her sons again.

The trickster looked at her with a sad smile, "I apologize, mother, but I need to do this. It's best to get it over with soon."

"I know," she smiled back at him just as sadly, "Promise me you will take care of yourself, though."

"Of course."

Odin sighed as well, "I also wish this could be postponed, but it is best to do this now."

"Father, I have a request," Loki said quietly. His father gestured for him to continue, and he looked at his hands sadly for a moment before returning his gaze to his father, "I would like you to remove whatever spell you've put on me to make me look like this."

"Are you certain?" Odin asked, "It will be difficult to put it back now that you're an adult, and I don't know if you could do it with your magic."

Loki took a deep breath before nodding, "I have basic spells to change appearance, they will suffice temporarily if I need it."

The allfather sighed and nodded, standing up and walking over to his son. He placed a hand on Loki's forehead, rubbing it along his face as he had done to Loki as an infant. Frigga's eyes widened but she otherwise hid her feelings. She had never seen her son like this. While she had always known what he was… Seeing it like this was shocking.

Odin stepped back and looked his son over. Loki looked at his hands, his face blank as he stared at the blue color. This time it didn't fade. Frigga walked over and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, looking at her husband expectantly.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner," Odin said quietly, "That I didn't prepare you for this better."

"I understand why, father," Loki said gently, trying to smile reassuringly at both of his parents. It didn't work very well, and he returned his gaze to his hands. He turned to look at the door, "I suppose I should use an appearance changing spell now."

"For your own safety, yes," Odin agreed, under no delusions about how his people saw the Jötunn or how they would react to seeing one in Asgard without warning.

Loki nodded, closing his eyes and focusing. When he opened them, his skin was again a pale peach tone. He looked up to his parents who nodded confirmation that it had been successful.

He bowed to his parents as Heimdall had, "Farewell. Mother, father. I'll see you again soon."

Frigga hugged her son, who returned it with a smile. As she let go, she placed her hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes, "Make sure that you do."

Odin smiled at his son, "You will do great things, Loki, I'm certain of it."

"Thank you," he said, returning the smile. Again he bowed and turned to leave, glancing back when he reached the door and smiling back to them.

* * *

><p>Loki didn't wish anyone else to know of his plans, and his family agreed with this. But this meant that Thor couldn't explain to the warriors 3 or Sif why he was in such a bad mood. They assumed it was missing the mortal girl. They weren't completely wrong.<p>

"I still can't believe Loki would do all that, though," Fandrall said with a sigh, Thor glanced over and then away, wishing that his brother hadn't come up.

"Please," Sif scoffed, shaking her head, "I always expected this from him."

"Always?" Thor asked, raising his eyebrows.

The warrior goddess nodded, "He's always been jealous of you, Thor, and I always thought that there was something more malicious to his 'pranks' than he let on. Just look at how eagerly he let you stay exiled on Earth. He claims it was out of love, but he just wanted you out of the way so he could take the throne"

Thor shook his head and laughed, "You really don't know him at all, do you?" Sif stared at him, not sure how to react to that affront. "My brother was in a bad situation and did what he thought was best. What's my excuse? I wanted the glory of victory and lept into a bad situation."

Sif shifted her weight, "You don't honestly believe what he tells you?"

"I do."

She looked away and glared at the wall.

"Why has he been locked in his room, then?" Hogun asked.

"Probably to avoid Sif and everyone who thinks like her," Volstagg replied, meeting her sharp look with a smile, "You can't blame him for that, Sif, if I were on your bad side I'd be hiding in my chambers as well!"

Thor sighed and looked out the window, he couldn't explain everything his brother had been thinking about and working through.

"So it wasn't a punishment?" Fandrall asked Thor, clapping his hands together, "Well, that's good to hear."

"No, it wasn't," Thor confirmed, "he just didn't want to face anyone, I was surprised he let _me_ talk to him."

"Is he doing well?" Fandrall asked.

Thor smiled but shook his head, "He has a lot on his mind, including trying to make amends for everything he's done."

"Really?" Sif asked, "What amends has he made for almost killing you?"

"I think he's working from the more major offenses down," Thor said jovially, "I'm afraid trying to destroy an entire world ranks bit higher than trying to kill me." The other four in the room exchanged looks. Thor shrugged, "Sometimes you need humor to deal with this sort of thing."

* * *

><p>Loki spent the first few hours after he had returned to the room staring in the mirror. His face now looked alien. Literally. He could see that it was still his face, it certainly looked like him. But it didn't.<p>

Eventually he got bored pawing at his face and decided it would be a good idea to try to get some sleep. Tomorrow was a big day and all that. Of course, it was impossible to properly sleep before something like this. Too many what ifs and whys and concerns swirling around. As soon as he thought he'd cleared his mind they only started back up in full force. After a few restless hours lying in bed, this turned into him pacing nervously.

"This is pointless," he said bitterly, walking to his wardrobe and pulling out his warmest clothes. He looked at a clock- it was the small hours of the morning. Everyone would be asleep, but he never said that he'd say goodbye to anyone before he left. Hopefully getting there at this time would mean he could see how things were, work out a more secure strategy…

He looked in the mirror again, sighing as he closed his eyes and focused once more. He couldn't risk running into someone looking like a jötunn.

With a sigh, the trickster walked out of his chambers, glanced around, and headed to where the Casket of Ancient Winters was kept. Guards would still be there, but they knew to let him through. Loki wrung his hands as he walked down the hallways of Asgard, stopping whenever he passed by a room or area that brought back some nostalgia. He'd never left Asgard for this long. Not that he knew how long this would be. And he might be leaving for even longer later…

His stomach tightened at that thought. Leaving everything he knew. Leaving to a very likely hostile place. Leaving to the place he was born, a people he never knew yet was one of.

He looked down at his now pale hands before placing his head in them. What was he doing? How did he get himself into this mess? Loki sank to the floor, leaning against one of the pillars. He looked up at the ceiling, closed his eyes, and sighed heavily.

* * *

><p>Thor had not had an easy night, either, and as soon as the sun started to rise he got up, although he knew few would be around. This actually was part of why he got up, the still young thunder god didn't want to deal with anyone today. Today would be spent bothering Heimdall to make sure his brother was alright and checking on Jane and trying to find a way to distract himself.<p>

Walking the halls, he noticed that the few people who were awake seemed to be gossiping amongst themselves, confusion and disbelief in their tones of voice. Eventually, he asked if something was going on and was just told to go to a room.

A sense of foreboding was creeping up on him. Thor thanked them and then hurried over, where the sense of foreboding was justified. Loki was curled up on the floor in one of the common rooms. Thankfully his face was buried in his arms, so people were just talking about his being there, rather than his appearance.

Thor wasn't terribly surprised to see that his brother had fallen asleep in a public place- with as bad a time as Thor had had sleeping, he wouldn't be surprised to hear that it was even worse for Loki. It was, however, rather sobering to see his brother, well, blue. He knew that Loki was a jötunn, but to see it...

He silently prayed no one had noticed.

"Wake up," he snarled, shaking the trickster a bit more strongly than he usually would.

Loki woke up with an "Ow!", rubbing his arm with one hand and glaring at his brother as he rubbed his face with the other. As his head cleared up from the fogginess of sleep, he rubbed his face more slowly, eventually stopping and staring at his hand in horror before looking at his surroundings.

"That was my reaction," Thor said nervously, looking behind him. He was kneeling in a way that would block most views, "What… what happened?"

"I fell asleep." Thor gave him an unimpressed look, grabbing his wrist and waving it. "Oh, that… It's the way I naturally am."

Thor crossed his arms, "I think I would have known that."

"Father… put a spell on me when I was a baby, when he took me from jötunnheim, so that I'd look like an Asgardian," Loki said quietly, once again casting the spell, this time watching his hand as it turned pale.

Thor stood up and nodded, offering a hand to help his brother up. The trickster took it and stood up sadly.

"What am I doing?" Loki asked quietly, he turned to look at Thor, "Do you think I can do this?"

"I'm _certain_ you can," Thor said with a grin, "You've talked yourself out of worse situations."

Loki smiled, "True."

"But this time… How about it not end with you giving birth to something? That can only happen so many times before it gets old."

The trickster smiled slyly, feeling more like his old self. "Oh, but what would father do without Sleipnir?" he asked, referring to Odin's 8-legged horse.

Thor went to say something but just shook his head, laughing. He stopped for a moment and sighed heavily, "You leaving now, then?" Loki nodded. "Alright, then how about we get you that casket so you can go?"


	4. Chapter 4

Despite his misgivings, Loki really had no choice but to go where Heimdall suggested- about a mile out of the largest grouping of jötunn.

When he arrived a strong wind was blowing and he just sighed, knowing that it should have felt biting from the cold, but it didn't. It just felt like a strong wind.

Loki had used his magic to shrink the casket so that he could carry it and not have it be obvious, and could easily produce it on demand. Still, he once again checked that it was still in his pocket, partly nervous that he might have forgotten, partly as a delaying tactic.

It was, in fact, still there. The trickster of Asgard sighed to himself before making his way towards the camp that was set up there. A mile wasn't a terribly long walk, but he still wished he had brought a horse to make it quicker.

As he approached it, he saw that a wall of ice surrounded the camp- not the best defenses, but, Loki reasoned, if they wanted the ability to expand this certainly made that easier. Some ways down the wall was a gate, with guards posted on either side. That would be his destination.

He rubbed his face with one hand, trying to ignore that even the texture felt foreign to him, praying that he could do this.

"I can, I've dealt with far worse," he reminded himself out loud, straightening up and approaching the gate.

It was no surprise that the guards immediately looked at him with suspicion. They shared a look before one spoke, "Asgardian, your pathetic attempts at illusion will not deceive us."

Loki smiled at them, "I do not disown that I was raised in Asgard, but this is not an illusion. I am Loki, adoptive son of Odin and birth son of Laufey." Another shared look. The trickster frowned as he thought about the actual circumstances that had led to him being taken to Asgard. Quietly, mostly to himself, "Perhaps 'accidentally kidnapped' would be a more accurate description."

"Laufey _did_ have a son before the war who went missing," the other guard said, "But what proof do you have that you are that son?"

"Nothing beyond the Allfather's word."

"You shouldn't rely on that getting you too far here. What do you want?" the first guard said.

Right, he had come here for a purpose. "I wish to speak to whoever is in charge."

The guards laughed before the first spoke again, "No one is in charge- we're trying to rebuild after that _attack_ from _Asgard_, this is not the time for power struggles."

"No one?" he tried to get his head around this idea. He'd ask questions later. Instead, he decided to go for the theatrical, stepping back and summoning the casket into his hands, "I wish to return the Casket of Ancient Winters- who would you suggest I talk to?"

This got their attention. The two guards both reached out to touch the casket to ensure it was real, and after immediately withdrew and began speaking hushed to themselves. For all Loki's straining to hear something, he couldn't understand much. After a few moments, the guards turned back to him and this time the second spoke harshly, "What do you want in exchange?"

"A slightly clearer conscience," Loki said truthfully and humbly, "I wish to help fix what I have done- that is all."

Anger flashed in their eyes as they realized what he meant by this. If they knew the full story, they likely would have attempted to strike him down. Not all of the Jötunn kept up with politics, few knew more than who was the leader of the other worlds. A small handful had known that Loki had brought Laufey to Asgard, and after their entire planet was attacked, it became difficult for word to get out, assuming any who knew had survived. Most who had heard that Laufey was dead assumed it had happened in the attack on Jötunnheim, an accidental casualty rather than a well-devised assassination.

One of the two guards turned to within the camp and motioned to another jötunn. The guards explained the situation in the same hushed tones they had used before, the third jötunn regarding Loki with disgust during it. Afterwards he nodded, and rushed off.

"We'll send out messengers to the other camps across Jötunnheim and call a meeting to decide what to do," the guard grinned unpleasantly, "With both the casket and you." Loki swallowed nervously, and nodded. "The meeting will likely be tonight, possibly tomorrow morning."

"What are you going to do with me until then?" he asked.

"Nothing," the other guard spat, "As long as you don't try to get in. Leave. Don't return until sunset."

The trickster was smart enough to know not to argue with this. He bowed to them saying, "Thank you, I will see you then," before returning the casket to his pocket and walking away.

After he'd gotten sufficiently far from the camp he looked up at the sky, "Heimdall, I truly hope that you're getting as much joy out of this as I expect you would."

* * *

><p>Unfortunately for Heimdall, he did not get to witness that particular event. After ensuring that Loki had arrived safely and was heading in the right general direction, the lovesick thunder god had begged Heimdall to turn his eyes to Earth and Jane.<p>

Normally Thor was content with the occasional general update that she was all right, she hadn't given up her search for him, and all of her files had indeed been returned to her. But with two people he cared for on completely different worlds, he now yearned to know more about her life and her research.

"The next time you go to Earth, you should consider looking into what they call 'Norse Mythology'," Heimdall advised him. Part of Jane's research now included studying the lore and trying to tease apart what was true and what was embellished, while fitting it into her data. As a result, Heimdall got to see exactly what the humans had written about the Norse Gods. Some of it was accurate, some of it was humorous, and some of it was just bizarre.

Thor raised his eyebrows, "Oh? Is that what the mortals wrote about us from the days when we still visited Earth?"

Heimdall nodded solemnly before smiling, "Of course, they made some mistakes. Apparently they regarded me as "the whitest of all Gods"."

Thor laughed at that, shaking his head. Mortals. "I think Loki deserves that title, I can't imagine he could get any paler."

"He can now," Heimdall pointed out. The thunder god's face turned serious at that as he looked out at the expanse beyond what was left of the bifröst. Heimdall decided to change the subject, "You know, some of the things the mortals came up with- apparently you have a wife." Thor looked up in alarm, and Heimdall laughed, "That was Jane's reaction as well. Yes, apparently your wife is the "golden-haired" _Sif_."

Thor stared at Heimdall for a moment, shaking his head. _Sif?_ He couldn't imagine what gave them that impression. "Have they gotten _any_ details right?"

"They've gotten some," he replied, "They have a basic knowledge of the 9 worlds and the races that live on them. Apparently a lot was changed over the years to keep up with the changing culture."

"I suppose that makes sense," Thor said, shaking his head again at the thought. He looked at Heimdall with concern, "She doesn't _really_ believe that I have a wife, does she?"

"I think it'll be a conversation she intends to have with you the next time you see her," he replied.

Thor shook his head again, annoyed that the mistakes of mortals could cause this. Heimdall smiled, "Just tell her the situation, she'll understand."

The thunder god returned the smile, and nodded, "Thank you, I just wish I could tell her now… that I could have been there when she was finding this out and told her then."

* * *

><p>With nothing to do for a good 12 or so hours on a strange, and rather barren, planet, Loki decided to try something. He had seen a bit of what the jötunn were able to do, and without the casket. Seeing as he was one, he should be able to use ice magic on his own as well. He'd just never thought to try it.<p>

He frowned at his hand, the jötunn they had fought were able to turn their hands into a weapon by coating it with sharp ice. He wasn't sure how to do that, but it should be something he could do. It seemed like a basic enough skill.

A basic enough skill that had taken him 6 hours just to start to figure out. He figured out how to get his hand covered in ice, but it was not nearly the impressive weapon he had seen the jötunn use. He remembered how much time had gone into training his magic, even with his proficiency for it. It probably took time to master this.

Loki couldn't help but think that if he asked for help on it, he would be told that this was something any jötunn child could do.

The trickster looked up to the sky, he still had hours until sun down. His stomach grumbled. That's right, he hadn't eaten breakfast and it was probably around or past lunchtime. He glanced around. There certainly wasn't going to be any food scavenged here.

Loki sighed, returning back to working out some ice magic. Maybe he could make enough progress to not feel like a complete disgrace by sunset.

It had been a long time since Loki had last felt grateful to be such an outcast at Asgard, to get all those looks and whispers. Walking through the jötunn camp, he got much the same response, and was much more accustomed to it. Only this was more openly hostile and threatening, seeing as "son of Odin" carried _very_ little weight here. If anything, it probably added to the hostility. The trickster wished he knew more about jötunn culture, if it would be wiser for him to keep his head down or held high. Neither seemed to affect the response he got.

He was led by more guards than he thought were necessary to some sort of 'room'. It was separated from the rest of camp by partial walls of ice, and in it a large group of jötunn were already there. Before they entered, he could hear that there was a heated debate of some sort going on, but the room fell silent as soon as the guards announced his arrival.

Loki smiled and looked around, "Please, don't let me interrupt."

"Do you have the casket?" One of the jötunn nearest him asked.

"To business then," he said to himself, nodding. Again he produced the casket, to mixed responses. Some of the jötunn stepped back, some looked on in disbelief, a handful walked over to touch the casket.

"It's real," one of them announced, disbelief clearly in his voice, the others who had come up to touch the casket confirmed it. Again the room fell silent.

"What do you want for it, _Asgardian_?" the one who had spoken first asked.

Loki did his best to continue smiling calmly, "Nothing- it is an offering. To help make reparations for what we have done."

The room erupted at this, Loki only managed to follow bits and pieces of various arguments. There was arguing about how to use it, who would be in charge of it, where it should be, what needed to happen first. Arguments about whether or not to trust it, the Asgardians _were_ the reason for their current state. Some even wondered if they could launch an attack on Asgard now that they had the casket back. The trickster instinctively tightened his grip on it, feeling as if his hold on it may be the only thing keeping him alive right now.

At one point an agreement was reached on something- they wanted to continue this conversation without the outsider. Loki was allowed to keep the casket, they needed to decide what to do with it before it became of real value and having it back on Jötunnheim was enough for now. However, he was still quickly and unceremoniously shoved out of the room by the guards that had 'accompanied' him there. Most of them dispersed after that, but apparently one had been instructed to keep watch on him.

Loki looked at them, the casket again put away safely. He sighed as his stomach rumbled, and tried not to wonder when he would next have a chance to eat.

"Hungry?" his guard asked in disdain.

"I'm afraid in the excitement I haven't eaten since midday yesterday," he replied quietly.

The guard sighed, "I suppose we can't let you starve. But if you want anything to eat without causing a giant stir, you'll have to find something more reasonable to wear."

"Oh… good," he managed, trying his best to sound grateful rather than disturbed.


	5. Chapter 5

"Will you hurry up already? It can't take that long to get changed, it's not like it's the first time you've seen yourself naked," the jötunn who'd been assigned to guard Loki shouted into the room he was changing in.

"Not like this," he shouted back. And it was true, part of the hold up was that, much like he'd spent an hour or so pawing at his face, as he was unbuttoning his undershirt he'd ended up looking at this chest, his chest, for far longer than he'd needed to, trying to get used to it.

"What…?"

He sighed, "When Odin took me from here he put a spell on me that gave me the form of an Asgardian. He only took it off, well, yesterday." Not that he could see, but the guard gave him a skeptical look. "And it was only rather recently that I found out… no one even told me."

"They kept what you are from you?"

"I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's true."

"It doesn't sound ridiculous- it sounds disgusting, who would do that to someone?" the guard spat before adding, more kindly, "If your intention is to convince us to ally with Asgard- I suggest you don't mention that to too many people."

"My intention is only to help fix this mess I've made and try to figure out who I am," Loki replied, wishing he could say a word in defense of his father's choice but it felt nice to hear someone say that. Part of him had felt that way since finding out, but any Asgardian he asked would defend it.

"Fair enough- now how much longer are you going to take getting dressed? I thought you were hungry."

"I am! I just…" the trickster paused as he tried to think of a way to say this that wasn't incredibly embarrassing. There wasn't one. "Jötunn anatomy wasn't exactly something we were taught and I'm not really sure I want to know."

The jötunn groaned, "Keep those prissy purple pants on, then."

Loki sighed and left the room, feeling incredibly self-conscious and knowing this didn't really help him to fit in. "Are you sure you don't have shirts…?"

"Even if we did, you wouldn't want one, because at this point I'd be dragging you around by the collar. Come on."

* * *

><p>This time he noticed that he got far fewer looks. Occasionally, when someone noticed his boots and pants, they'd do a double take and then glare at him, but most people didn't really notice. The jötunn, he was starting to realize and feel guilty that he had never asked the guard's name, led him to an area that was somewhat crowded, with tables and other jötunn eating and generally socializing. His stomach turned in on itself.<p>

"Relax, part of my job is to keep you from getting hurt, alright?" the guard told him, noticing how nervous he'd gotten. Loki nodded awkwardly. When they got closer, the guard steered him towards a table that already had a two jötunn sitting at it. "Hey, I've got babysitting duty can you guys watch him while I go grab food?"

"I don't know which part of that sentence I object to most," Loki muttered, and one of the jötunn chuckled.

"Yeah, we'll keep an eye on him- so long as you fill us in when you get back," one of the two responded before gesturing to Loki to sit down with a smile. As his guard left, he did somewhat hesitantly. "I'm Gridr and this is Hymir, what's your name?"

"Loki," he said quietly, not sure what response that would get.

Hymir raised an eyebrow at that, "Isn't that the name of one of Odin's sons?"

The trickster smiled, "Sort of." Both looked puzzled by that answer, but before they could ask what he meant by that he asked, "I never actually asked the guard's name. Do you know it?"

"Of course, she's Kolga," Gridr answered.

"She?" Loki asked without being able to help it. He had to admit, he'd assumed the jötunn was a male. He now realized that he wasn't sure how to tell the difference.

Hymir shook his head, "Alright, what's your story?"

"Story?"

"You haven't got a jötunn name and couldn't tell Kolga was a girl, not only that but you've got a guard watching you. What's your story?" Hymir elaborated.

Loki sighed, "As an infant, at the end of the war where Asgard took the casket, Odin took me from Jötunnheim and placed a spell on me to make me look like an Asgardian. He raised me as his child and it wasn't until a very short time ago that I found any of this out."

"Why are you here, then?" Hymir asked, Gridr gave him a look for it but Loki shook his head.

"That's a fair question," he licked his lips uncertainly and looked at his hands on the table, "I am the one who set the bifröst to attack Jötunnheim. I've come to return the casket and try to repair some of the damage I've done."

"You…" Gridr moved to lunge across the table, ice formed on her arm to strike, but Hymir stopped her.

"He's being protected," Hymir hissed at her.

She sat back down before snarling, "You should just hand over the casket and leave, you don't belong here." The trickster noted that the ice on her arm remained.

"I know," he said quietly.

At this point Kolga returned with two plates and sighed as she reached the table, "Who said what?"

Loki managed a tense smile, "I just told them why I was here."

"He's the reason we're in this mess," Gridr growled, "And they're having you _protect_ him?"

Kolga smiled in sympathy at her friend, "I'm also supposed to keep him from running off. He has the Casket, you know. Until they decide who will keep it and what to do with it, we have to keep him here and safe." Gridr simply folded her arms and looked away.

"She lost her whole family," Hymir explained, "A few people did, I don't know anyone who hasn't lost somebody. Don't expect to be terribly popular here."

The trickster just nodded quietly, "I didn't expect to be, I know what I did was unforgivable. I don't want to be forgiven, I just want to try to fix some of what I've done."

"Hey," Kolga said, elbowing him, "eat."

Loki didn't really have the appetite at this point, but he knew she was right. He looked at his plate and got another reminder that he was not at home anymore. He was sure it was edible, it just… Well, it was certainly a change from the roast feasts he was used to. His stomach growled again and he decided he'd manage to eat it anyways.

The food was different, the taste and texture foreign. He decided not to try to think about what it was. But, somehow, it was comforting. He could never understand why Volstag ate as much as he did, always being a picky eater and not caring much for anything. But eating this, he could understand it.

"How does it compare to what you eat at Asgard?" Kolga asked after Loki had finished about half of it. Gridr let out a noise indicating her view that no one should care how he felt.

The trickster said quietly, "It's comforting, somehow. I didn't know food could be like that."

Hymir raised an eyebrow, "The Asgardians don't have comfort food, that I don't believe."

"They do," Loki said, "It just never gave me any comfort." For a moment, sympathy flashed over Gridr's face. Just a moment.

The table fell into silence as Loki and Kolga finished their meals. Afterwards, Hymir again spoke, "What you said before- you meant it, didn't you? You only just recently found out what you are."

"Yes. I never quite fit in, but didn't know why," he replied quietly, "A lot of things were happening when I found out… I wasn't exactly what anyone would call stable."

"Doesn't erase what you did," Gridr said, although she'd returned her arm to normal.

Loki shook his head, "It isn't meant to. It explains why it happened, it doesn't justify it."

Gridr frowned, "So what exactly do you intend to do to try and fix what you've done?"

"Ask what needs to be done and find out if any of it is something I can do," he replied simply.

She glared at him for a moment, and he wondered what she'd rather he'd said. "Fine."

"That's as close as she's going to come to approving of anything you do," Kolga told him softly, smiling at her friend.

"How long're you stuck with him?" Gridr asked, ignoring the comment.

Kolga shrugged, "Just until they figure out what to do with the casket. However long that is."

"Waste of time, they could have you doing something more useful."

"Ah!" Hymir interrupted them, "That reminds me- I need to get back to work. Lovely talking to you, ladies. Nice meeting you, kid."

The two jötunn said their goodbyes to him while Loki bristled slightly at being referred to as 'kid'.

"I think they figured I was the least likely to end up killing him," Kolga pointed out, picking the conversation back up.

Gridr rolled her eyes, "Well if that weren't such a big concern for them…"

"Should I be concerned for my life? I would like to know," Loki asked with a small smile. Gridr regarded him with disdain and Kolga grinned.

"I'm going to get back to work as well," Gridr said, standing up and clearing her plate as she did. Before leaving she leaned over and muttered to Kolga that, should the other jötunn need an alibi, she was happy to provide one.

The trickster watched her leave, "You know, she is not the first person to hate me this much after our first meeting- and yet she's the first to have such a good reason to."

"Please stop talking about your life at Asgard, it's depressing," Kolga said, giving him a look of sympathy.

"At least you didn't have to live it," he pointed out.

She shook her head, "It should not be this easy to feel sorry for someone who attempted genocide against us." Loki put his head down at this. She sighed, "Probably helps that you're technically one of us."

"It was foolish of me. I thought that if I destroyed Jötunnheim I would prove that I belonged in Asgard," he sighed to himself, "Like I said- I was far from stable."

Kolga looked around, remembering they were in a fairly public place. "Come on, we should probably get you away from people if you want to talk about this."


	6. Chapter 6

Kolga had actually had no interest in continuing the conversation. Loki didn't really blame her for that, all things considered. It was late enough that she suggested he get to sleep. Despite not being particularly tired, he agreed. She took him back to the place where he had gotten changed, and he learned that this was her private quarters, so to speak. He thought to his luxurious, multi-room suite of gilded marble with a mix of guilt and homesickness.

Ignoring the look he got for doing so, he put the rest of his clothes back on the first chance he got, feeling more comfortable in them. There was a short argument over who would take the cot- each insisting the other should. The trickster finally won out that Kolga should take it after displaying his ability to create replicas of himself and asking if she _really_ thought she could keep him there without his cooperation.

He regretted doing it, though, he felt like it had ebbed away the little trust he'd gotten from Kolga. It was the only way he could convince her, though. He curled up in one of the corners of the room, hugging his coat-clad arms to himself, pleased to have it back.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Loki awoke to Kolga speaking with someone else at the door. It seemed like another guard, based on how they were dressed, but he wasn't sure. He sat up and tried to listen in, but once again they were speaking in hushed tones. He wondered if this was part of the training guards got here.<p>

After a time, the converation ended and she noticed that he was awake. "You still curious about finding out more about jötunn?" He nodded. "Get out of those silly clothes, then. I've got somewhere to take you."

"No breakfast?" he asked, half joking. She rolled her eyes at him and muttered something about grabbing something to eat while he got changed.

Again, Loki preferred to keep his pants on, despite how much it went against his nature to wear the same clothes two days in a row. Sure, he could (and did) magic them clean, but it was the principle. This time he decided to try taking off his boots and going barefoot the way everyone else was. He wriggled his toes.

"Decide to get out of those pants?" Kolga called to him.

"Not yet, I did took my boots off, though, working my way up slowly," he replied, walking out, still looking at his feet.

Kolga shook her head as she offered him something that could have been a fruit, "You know- maybe it's _better_ that you keep your pants on, I don't want to find out how you'll react to seeing what your crotch looks like."

"I'll save that for a special occasion," he promised her, taking the food that was offered and taking a bite. Again, he preferred not to find out what it was, the texture was just as foreign, and again it filled him with a lovely feeling. If this was what food was like for everyone, he understood Volstagg's overeating.

* * *

><p>Loki was very surprised when he saw where Kolga had brought him. It was an area full of books, some more organized than others. He hadn't been sure what to expect, but he was glad to see this. Books had always been a place to find solace. His only hope was that he could read the ones here.<p>

"A library?" he asked her, and she smiled at him.

"Of sorts. Some of the books are private-owned, but the owners had nowhere else to put them. I was a bit surprised by how many people risked their lives to save some of their books in what happened," she explained. The trickster felt the now familiar squirming in his stomach at the mention of his destruction. Kolga shook her head at him, "Now, I'm sure you've got a lot to talk about and I am happy to listen- but I thought this might help you get some more information about who you are."

"Thank you," he said quietly, still looking around the books, "Are you sure I'll be able to read them?"

Kolga's face darkened for a moment, but she brightened back up and started looking through the books, "Since the Asgardians won the war, we've all had to learn your writing and language to be able to negotiate and understand the treaties. Some know our old language, but I don't know how many books in it are left as of now."

Loki shook his head in disbelief, they'd never been told that, "I'm so sorry."

"We don't need your pity," she snapped at him, sighing. "It's hard. It's been hard. I don't know how much damage Asgard has done to our culture. A lot was lost when they took the Casket of Ancient Winters. I don't know how much of it can be reclaimed."

Before the trickster had a chance to say anything, she grabbed a book off the shelf and handed it to him warmly, "I think that's a good one to start with."

He looked at the cover. Anatomy. His lips curled up slightly. He looked at her, again ashamed, "Will this help me to know the difference between male and female jötunn because I really can't tell…"

"You can't?"

"I, er, didn't realize you were a woman until your friends told me," he admitted, looking at his boots.

"You mean you couldn't tell that I just _ooze_ feminine charm?" she asked in mock horror, putting on her girliest voice. He smiled cautiously. Kolga laughed, "Gender isn't as big a deal as it seems to be in Asgard. All it really means is that about half the population can get pregnant and about half the population can impregnate. I believe that our language didn't really differentiate between genders all that much."

Loki tapped is chin thoughtfully, "I wonder if that's why I've been fond of taking on a female form sometimes."

"No, that just makes you a freak," Kolga replied, Loki was about to object until he saw the teasing smile. "What do you mean, though?"

Loki cleared his throat awkwardly, "Well… One time I spent 8 years in midgard disguised as a mortal woman just because I wanted to. Then there was this time with this horse, I ended up giving birth to an 8-legged stallion." He sighed, "I never really fit the epitome of masculinity."

"Huh. I don't know, it could be that you couldn't adjust to the roles of one so trying another is a relief once in awhile, I don't know how common that was." Her face turned thoughtful for a moment, "That's right, you had the casket while you were growing up…"

"What?"

"The casket is the source of our power- including our magical power. We still have some ice magic, but the casket greatly strengthens it and allows many of us other powers as well, including shapeshifting," she explained, "It didn't disappear immediately, but after a century without it- all of those powers were lost to us."

Loki had to admit, this made a lot of sense. No one else in Asgard had the kind of powers he had. His mother practiced a kind of magic, but it wasn't the same as his. He'd assumed the casket was only related to ice magic because that was all he had used it for, but as he'd never practiced ice magic, it made sense that the casket allowed him to wield it.

"So if I want to keep my powers… I do have to stay here," he said quietly.

"Not permanently, but the longer you're away from the casket the weaker you are, and I'm sure having someone who can actually wield magic around to help us relearn what was lost would be greatly appreciated."

The trickster smiled, "I can do that. Do you know if you have any books on the subject? That would help."

"We do," she said, "Not many, though. And I suggest you get a read on that anatomy book and then check out a few culture books first. It seems you already know magic well enough."

"Er, some magic. I can't even coat my arms in ice as weapons, though," he admitted. She laughed at this, and his lips tightened.

"That I can teach you myself," she said, "but I'm afraid we don't know each other well enough for me to be willing to teach you about anatomy."

Loki had wondered whether or not jötunn could blush. He now discovered that they, in fact, could not. Their faces could certainly show embarrassment, though.

"Good point, I'll just start reading this, then," he said quietly, clearing his throat. He sat down with the book while Skolga leaned against the shelves and kept watch.

It wasn't terribly different from Asgardian anatomy on the insides. He still had all the organs- a stomach, lungs, a heart, all of that. Some things worked a bit differently. He didn't get the super strength (he knew that already), had a lower healthy body temperature, less tolerance for high temperatures (again, he already knew that). Some of the differences explained why, when he'd gotten sick, the medicines they gave him had sometimes made him even worse. But there were mostly similarities. There were the same variation between the sexes, just less noticeable. And, he had to admit, he had a hard enough time telling the difference between them at all. He just wasn't used to what jötunn looked like, after a bit of time he'd probably be able to tell as easily as he could in Asgard.

"You said that you had books on culture?" he asked after he'd skimmed through the entire book and read a good chunk of it.

Kolga looked at him in surprise, "Finished with that already?"

"I speed read," he said with a smile.

"Instead of reading a book, do you want me to teach you a bit more ice magic?" she offered, hoping it would be obvious that she was fairly bored stiff sitting there while he read.

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not! More interesting than watching you read."

"Oh, of course," he said quietly, feeling a bit guilty for making her sit around for the hour or however long he'd been reading that book. It was strange to have someone assigned to watch him all day.

* * *

><p>Kolga had decided that the best place for this would be outside the camp, about where Loki had spent most of the previous day. He didn't blame her for that, he had firsthand knowledge of how much damage a magic user who doesn't know what he's doing can do. When he was younger, he actually got his prankster status more from spells gone awry than from intentional pranks. He liked it, though, and developed his talents for pranking as a result.<p>

"So, let's see what you can do, eh?" she asked after they'd gotten out there.

Loki took a moment to enjoy the solitude. He didn't feel as self-conscious now. He again wriggled his toes, feeling like a child at the beach for the first time. The feeling of them against the cold ground was nice.

Kolga watched this with amusement for a few moments before poking his forehead. Loki looked up indignantly, jerking his head back as he did. Kolga just smiled at him expectantly.

"No one's ever done that to me," he said, rubbing his forehead. It hadn't hurt, but he felt like he should anyways.

"Well now someone has, show me what you can do."

The son of Odin gave her a cold look before holding his hand up. He concentrated on it, trying to do as much as he'd figured out how to do yesterday. A coating of ice with a spike or two sticking out of it, it was not terribly impressive. His lips tightened.

"You've never really tried before, right? That's not too bad for a beginner," Kolga told him cheerfully.

"You're humoring me," he said, the ice disappearing from his hand.

She shook her head, "Only a little. You're doing better than I expected you could."

"This is something children can do easily, isn't it?"

"This is something children with several years teaching can do easily," she corrected him.

Despite himself, he smiled slightly at that. "Alright, let's get started, then."


	7. Chapter 7

"Alright, you picked that up way faster than I thought you would," Kolga said after about a few hours' teaching, after which Loki had not only learned how to turn his arm into an ice weapon but was starting to figure out how to manipulate the ice on the ground.

"Well, I am quite skilled at sorcery," he replied smugly, pleased with himself.

The jötunn chuckled, "Your humility astounds." He smirked at that. "Don't forget you've got the casket in your pocket, that probably helps a little," she added, making the ice underneath his right foot rise. She had only meant it to about an inch or so, enough to put him off balance but not enough to do anything, but it ended up lurching half a foot, knocking the trickster completely off balance and causing him to fall on his ass.

"What the—"

"That was not supposed to happen, Loki," Kolga insisted, rushing over to help him up, "I'm really sorry."

He took her hand and stood up warily, eyeing the small pillar, "Well I'm glad to hear that. I guess the casket is helping you as well…?"

Her eyes lit up at that and she grabbed both of his shoulders, spinning him around to face her, much to his annoyance. She grinned, "Maybe! Try to teach me some other sorcery."

"Don't do that again and I will."

"Sorry, I'm just really excited about this," she said, letting go of his shoulders and taking a step back.

He smiled, "I like the way you- and the other jötunn I've met- speak." Kolga raised an eyebrow at that. "In Asgard, everyone is always so proper," he explained.

"Oh, so now I'm improper?" she asked, playfully nudging his shoulder.

"Appallingly."

"I'll just have to learn to live with it," Kolga said, rolling her eyes, "Now, come on, teach me some sorcery."

Loki rubbed his chin thoughtfully, trying to decide what would be something easy. It'd been so long, he couldn't really remember the first things he'd learnt how to do. He knew quite a few dirty fighting moves, it was the only way he'd been able to survive fighting class, but he doubted she would appreciate that. Most of what he knew was some kind of deception…

"Well, I could teach you how to make yourself look like an Asgardian," he suggested, just to see her reaction. The jötunn crossed her arms and gave him a non-plussed look. He smiled for a moment before sighing, "Most of what I know is trickery, Kolga… I don't know if you'd care for it."

"Is that replicating trick hard?"

"Yes, but it's built up on an easier spell to make a hologram," he said thoughtfully, "I could teach you that- something simple at first, just a basic sphere."

"Works for me," she said with a grin.

"First you need to visualize what you want to see- not just a sphere, think about what color and size it should be, where you want it to be," he explained, "On top of that pillar you made might be easiest to imagine."

"Then what?"

Loki rubbed his chin again, trying to think how to explain it. "The way that you use your ice magic, it's similar to that. You need to use a similar, but different, power and project the sphere where you want it."

Kolga gave him a nervous look, "Right." She shook her head then looked determinedly at the short pillar. She managed to create several actual spheres of ice on top of it, to her annoyance.

"You _have_ only been near the casket for a day, you may not be able to do anything yet," he said as she started cursing to herself.

The jötunn nodded and hung her head for a moment before walking over to the pillar, turning her arm into ice and smashing it.

"Kolga?" he asked uncertainly.

She shook her head as her arm went back to normal, "Don't worry, I'm just annoyed. I know that things can't be fixed overnight but…" she rubbed her neck and looked up at the sky, "To know that the casket is having some effect but not its full effect yet, it's just so aggravating."

"How does it work? I was never really near it," he asked.

"You don't have to be, if any children were born around the time you got here, they'll probably have full use of their powers just because it's on the planet. But it seems to be different for adults. We don't really know," she said sadly, "It's not like we'd been without the casket before the war."

Guilt squirmed slightly in his stomach, and he nodded, "Is that why there's arguments about who will have the casket and what it will be used for? They don't think it will have full effect soon enough."

"Yeah, pretty much," she said, "I think anyone who actually holds the casket in their hands gets the full power, but everyone else… You see how little an effect being around it has had on me."

"I'm sorry."

"I mean it, kid, I don't want your pity," she reminded him harshly.

He shook his head, "It's more self-pity. I don't know how to feel. I've spent so long able to take the casket back at any minute, but being taught that jötunn are _evil_, that letting you have the casket was the worse thing we could do."

Kolga shook her head, placing a hand on Loki's shoulder and shaking her head, "Well, you're here now. Returning the casket. Finding out what we're really like. I'd call that a step in the right direction."

"You're too kind," he said quietly.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help," she said, shoving him with the hand on his shoulder and crossing her arms.

"I was being sincere."

Kolga looked him over for a moment. He remained unmoving, his red eyes downcast. "Loki, you want to head back to the library? You seemed to like it there."

He turned his eyes to her and gave her a small smile, "You don't mind?"

"Naw, I could use a break after all this," she assured him, turning back towards the camp, "Come on."

* * *

><p>"Kolga! They've been looking for you." Both were surprised to be greeted by this when they approached the gates. Loki looked up at his guardguide for some indication and she just frowned.

"Why?"

"They're done, they want to see him now."

She groaned, "This morning I got told not to expect that for another two days at least!"

The guard shrugged, "They worked it out, I guess."

The trickster was incredibly thankful that this conversation had not happened in the usual hushed tones. He placed his hand in his pocket, where the shrunken casket was still sitting. Both to reassure him that it was there, and to avoid fidgeting with his fingers. He guessed what this meant for him, and did not look forward to it.

"I'm sorry, Loki, looks like that plan's been cancelled," Kolga said, turning to him. He nodded.

"It's fine," he said stiffly, "This is more important."

"That's true," she agreed, and motioned for him to follow. She brought him to the place he had gone the night before, only this time he couldn't hear any arguing. He got the uncomfortable feeling that everyone would be standing around waiting for him to walk in.

He was right. A roomful of jötunn was staring at him as soon as he walked in. He remembered the times when he was younger that his pranks had gotten too out of hand and he ended up having to go to the throne room. Walking in with his father, mother, and their various advisors and other important people all looking at him. Part of him wanted to hide behind Kolga, but he knew that would not be a wise idea.

Loki instead held himself up with all the presence that a son of Odin should have. He looked around the room. "I trust that you are now ready to take the Casket?"

"We are," One of the jötunn replied. She, Loki thought the jötunn was a she at least, seemed to be more or less in charge. She took a few steps forward and the trickster now noticed that there was a pedestal made of ice in the middle of the room, not unlike the one that had held the casket at Asgard. "Place it here."

He nodded, taking the casket out of his pocket and returning it to its full size. A gasp ran through the room once more and he walked purposefully to the pedestal, placing the casket there, before looking the jötunn who had spoken in the eyes. "Is there anything else you need of me?"

"No, your presence is not welcome." Loki maintained his poise and expression but he felt his stomach clench when he heard that. "You may remain here overnight, but tomorrow you must leave."

"I have a great knowledge of sorcery, I could be of use—"

"Perhaps later on," she interrupted, "But right now the wounds are still too new. You can't expect to be welcome here after what you've done, returning the casket isn't enough."

"Of course," he said quietly before bowing to her, "I will take my leave of you, then, and make plans to return to Asgard." He walked out of the room without bothering to wait for any response, passing Kolga without any sign of acknowledging her because he refused to betray his feelings to these people. She didn't seem to mind, and quickly fell into step with them.

"We should go back to my place," she suggested gently, "I'm guessing you'll want some privacy."

"No, I want to go to the library," he said, his voice thick, he managed a half smile at her, "That's what we were planning to do in the first place."

"Yeah, it is," she agreed, motioning to the direction the library was in.

They continued to walk in silence, Loki trying not to feel badly about this. He expected it, really. His wants didn't matter terribly, and if he stayed too long, at some point he would likely end up with a mob attacking him to try and get some revenge. He wasn't concerned for his safety, but mobs were not particularly conducive to rebuilding.

He sighed, "I have to let Jötunnheim heal its own way before I can try to help."

"You do," she agreed quietly, "I'm sorry, though."

"Thank you."

Not long after they approached the library and he sighed, smiling slightly at the books. He didn't really feel like reading, but he'd always felt comfortable just being around them. There was something wonderful about knowing he was surrounded by a wealth of knowledge.

"You know, if you wanted to take some of the books on jötunn culture back with you, I don't think anybody'd miss 'em," Kolga said.

Loki looked at her, "Are you sure?"

She smiled at him, "Go ahead. You can always bring 'em back whenever you come back."

"I don't know when that'll be, though," he said.

"I honestly think you need them more than anyone here does," she told him with a smile, "I'll look for one on medicine as well, might come in handy."

"Thank you."

Kolga was already browsing through the shelves, and smiled at him, "What can I say? For a genocidal maniac, you're pretty alright."

Loki didn't say anything in reply, just looked over the titles of the books around him as she continued her search.

* * *

><p>They spent the rest of that day in the library. Twice Kolga left him and brought back food. He spent the time reading whatever book caught his interest and joking with Kolga or asking her questions. They left with 5 books- the one on anatomy he'd already read, three on culture, and one on jötunn medicine. He again attempted to protest but she insisted, although he doubted that she had any right to. The sleeping arrangements were the same that night, although this time Loki didn't feel like putting his shirt or jacket back on.<p>

When he awoke, Kolga was gone. He wasn't sure what to do with this. He couldn't find his way around the place, was rather certain it wasn't safe to try, and couldn't see any notes left. Loki got dressed in the clothes he had came in, getting ready for his departure. He tried to read one of the books, but was too nervous to do a decent job of it. Thankfully, she came back soon enough.

"Where were you?" he asked, trying to make it sound like a casual question rather than like he'd been seriously concerned by her absence.

"Getting you something, I didn't think you'd be up yet," she replied, handing him a rather nicely sized brown sack.

He took it and opened it curiously and looked up at her with a sad smile when he saw what it was, "Food?"

"As long as you keep it cold it'll be fine for a good long while. We actually haven't got any concerns about a food shortage, we're lucky in that respect, so there's no harm in giving you that," she explained, "It's not exactly what we consider comfort food, but it seems like anything from here counts as that for you."

"It does," he admitted, closing the sack back up and shaking his head, "I don't know how to repay you."

"Learn some good tricks to teach me when you come back," she told him with a smile.

"I will miss you," he told her.

"I know," she said with a sigh, placing a hand to her chest and looking haughty, "How could you _not_ miss someone like me?"

"You know- I may just find a way," he replied to that with a sad grin.

"Heading out now?"

"Yeah."

"I'll walk you to the gates."

"Thank you."

Loki managed to take far longer shrinking the books than he needed to, he didn't risk it with the sack. He sighed when he'd finished, "Let's get this over with, then."


	8. Chapter 8

Unlike the bifröst, which was impossible not to notice, Loki's way of traveling between Asgard & Jötunnheim was actually very subtle. He was even able to make sure that he arrived back in the comfort of his own quarters. Seeing as there was no way to know when Heimdall was watching him, he had no idea whether or not anyone knew he was returning. If they didn't, he wanted some time to himself before they did.

Loki looked around his bedroom after getting back and sighed. It was good to be back in them, but at the same time it wasn't. After just two days he felt more homesick for Jötunnheim than he had for Asgard.

"I suppose I'll just have to get used to it," he told himself, carefully placing the sack Kolga had given him next to his night stand before removing the books from his pocket and returning them to their regular size. He placed them on the night stand, running a hand over them after he had.

He went to change his clothes for the first time since he'd left. Had it always been this uncomfortably hot? Had he just gotten used to it before? Was it part of the spell his father had put on him? The trickster sighed, searching out his lightest clothes, the ones normally reserved for the hottest days of summer. He couldn't bear to put his boots back on, he found the cool feel of the marble floor too comforting.

Loki looked at himself in his full-length mirror. His hair was slicked back as it usually was, not a one out of place. His clothes were also neat as usual, his summer clothes covered as much skin as his others, they were just made of lighter material. All of this clashed horribly with his bare feet.

"What are we going to do with you?" he asked his reflection with a sad smile. Shaking his head, he walked into the entrance room to his chambers, the one that he had spoken to Thor in all those days ago. Again he perched himself on the window and looked out, wondering what he was going to do now.

Mere minutes after he had done this, it became obvious that Heimdall had either seen him come home or seen that he was there, as his brother burst into his chambers, a bright smile on his face and his arms held out.

"Brother!" He exclaimed happily, faltering slightly at the sight of Loki's blue skin and red eyes, but only for a moment.

"Thor," he answered with a smile, standing up and accepting the strong embrace that the thunder god was set on giving him. He returned the hug awkwardly, but couldn't deny it was comforting.

"I didn't expect you back so soon," Thor said, holding Loki at arm's length to get a better look at him. "I missed you."

"I missed you, as well." It wasn't a complete lie. "How much have you been bothering Heimdall about that mortal girl of yours?"

"_Jane_," Thor replied, starting to get tired of hearing her referred to as 'that mortal girl'. "And every chance that I get. I think he's getting thoroughly sick of it."

"I'm just glad he didn't have as much time to watch me, I hate that he can," Loki said, shivering slightly. Even when he had nothing to hide, the thought just made him uncomfortable.

"Father and mother want to see you," Thor said, letting go of Loki and deciding to move on to another topic.

The trickster smirked, "I suppose we're to meet them in the throne room, then?"

"As always. I'll give you a few moments to get ready."

Loki paused for a moment and smiled, "Actually, I am ready."

The thunder god raised his eyebrow, looking his brother over from blue head to bare toe, "Are you certain?"

The jötunn son of Odin nodded, "I am, Thor."

"Why are you barefoot, though?" he asked.

Loki looked down, "I never realized how warm it is here. I really can't stand to wear them."

Thor sighed, "This will take some getting used to." He looked Loki over again, the trickster shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Are you sure you want to go… like that?"

"I know it's not the wisest thing I've ever done... But yes."

Thor gave the least convincing smile of his life, "Well, let's go then."

* * *

><p>Loki couldn't help but smile at the looks he got in the hallways. He was sure this only made things worse, but he didn't really care. Sometimes he could actually see the people trying to work out what sort of scheme he was cooking up, looking like this. Thor, however, got more and more tense.<p>

"Thor!" Thor froze, hearing Volstagg call his name from behind them, he turned around and did his best to block any view of Loki, which was a rather easy feat, who had stopped and looked to see who it was.

It was just Volstagg and Fandral, and Thor couldn't help but be glad Sif wasn't with them. Thor returned with a warm welcome. Loki's face grew stormy as he realized what his brother was doing, causing a person who'd been coming down the hallway to immediately turn around.

"And did we see Loki with you as well?" Fandral added when they'd caught up to the two.

"Yes, he's finally getting out," Thor replied, continuing to block his brother. The two shared a glance at that.

Loki sighed, "Fine." He once again cast his spell to make him look like an Asgardian. He walked around Thor who made a move but stopped when he saw Loki's color, "I've been summoned by my father."

"Good luck," Fandral said, sure that it wouldn't be a pleasant conversation.

Loki stared at him for a moment after this. "Thank you," he said uncertainly.

"I would not want to be in your shoes right now, Loki," Volstagg agreed, which made Loki smirk on account of the fact he wasn't wearing any. "And, now that you're getting around, you should probably avoid Sif."

"I try to anyways, I know she doesn't care for me," Loki nodded.

"How are you, by the way?" Fandral asked.

"I have a lot to think about," Loki replied simply. He looked at his brother, "And we should be going."

"He's right," Thor agreed, eager to get out of the conversation.

"You're going to the throne room, right?" Fandral asked, "We could go with you. For moral support."

The trickster gave "the Dashing" a suspicious look, and Thor tried to think of a way to get out of this. He couldn't think of any.

"That would be great," he said unconvincingly, and again his two friends exchanged a look. Loki sighed and started on his way, his hands clasped behind his back and his face brooding. The other three followed closely, Thor trying his best to act like his normal self (which never worked).

As they walked, Fandral had managed to catch up to Loki while the other two talked. "Loki?" he asked quietly. Seeing the trickster's face he wondered if this was such a good idea, but steeled himself and put on a warm smile.

"Yes?" Loki replied, looking over to the man.

Fandral realized that he hadn't really thought of what he should say, and that this would have been a good thing to do. "I, er, I know we've never been particularly close…"

"I've never been particularly close to anyone," Loki agreed.

"That's true," Fandral said with a small laugh, "Well, I know that things went rather badly for you recently and…" the trickster's face turned into a glare, Fandral swallowed, "I wanted to say that you can talk to me about things if you want to."

Loki stopped in his tracks at this, which was not a particularly good idea as neither Volstagg nor Thor were really looking where they were going, and mid-joke Thor smashed into Loki full stride, knocking the slender man to the floor.

Thor stopped at that and helped Loki up, "I'm sorry, brother, I didn't realize you'd stopped."

"It's fine," he replied, accepting the help and getting to his feet, "I shouldn't have stopped like that."

The four continued, now in a line with Loki on one end and Fandral on the other. Thor resumed his conversation with Volstagg but kept looking at Loki as if afraid his brother would break without being checked on constantly. It was rather annoying.

When they reached the throne room, Loki went in without saying any good-byes. He wanted this over with. He looked back to see Thor trying to convince his friends not to wait for them and decided to shut the doors behind him. Thor would come in when he wanted. Loki removed the spell on himself and closed his eyes, taking several deep breaths, before proceeding to where his parents waited.

"Father, mother," he said cheerily. They both smiled at him.

"We did not expect you to be back so soon, Loki, did everything go as planned?" Odin asked, his voice serious but concern could be heard in it.

He heard the door open and then close, followed by Thor half-running over to him. The thunder god nodded to the three before looking down slightly. Once that was over with, Loki answered the question. "The casket has been returned, that went according to plan."

"And why are you back so soon?"

"Father, I attempted to destroy their planet," Loki said with a sad smile. He swallowed before continuing, "I am the son of the man who stole their power source and ruined part of their culture. They did not want my help."

Odin frowned at his son, "That is an interesting accusation. How did I ruin their culture, exactly?"

"You refused to make treaties with them unless they spoke our language, correct?"

"Yes."

"They needed to learn our language, the more power you had over them the more important it was that they know it, and the less important it was that they know theirs."

"Then they let their own language fall into ruin," Odin told him firmly.

Loki sighed, "Whatever you say."

A tense silence filled the room for several moments.

"Was there any sign that they may try to attack Asgard?" Odin said after a bit.

"No, they're just trying to rebuild."

"Very well, that's all we needed to know," Odin said tersely.

"It is wonderful to have you back, my son," Frigga said warmly, walking over to him and hugging him closely, this time he returned the hug much more naturally.

"I missed you, mother," Loki said with a smile. She smiled back at him.

"Are you going to stay like this?" she asked. Loki nodded uncertainly. Frigga placed her hands on his cheeks and smiled into his red eyes, "I'm glad."

"This won't go over well with most of Asgard," Odin added, walking over.

"I know," Loki said quietly, "But it's who I am. I can't change that."

"We'll find a way to make this work," Frigga said simply, turning so that she could place a hand on both Loki and Odin's shoulders. She smiled sadly to Odin, "Love, perhaps we never should have hidden the truth."

The allfather nodded, "Perhaps." He looked at his two sons, "You both do know that we only did what we thought was best."

"I do, father," Loki said with a small smile. He looked at his brother for a moment, who's face was now stony. Loki looked back at his parents, "I know this is an unusual request- but will you please leave us alone in here? There's a conversation we need to have, and it has to happen now."

Frigga looked at Odin, her eyes urging him to agree. The allfather nodded, "That will be fine. Farewell, my sons."

"Farewell," both Loki and Thor said in unison.


	9. Chapter 9

"Have you gone mad?" Thor snarled after their parents had left.

"I must have," Loki snapped, "To expect my _brother_ to not be ashamed of me."

The thunder god glared at him, "You come back only to want to walk around looking like one of them—"

"I _am_ one of them."

The two glared at each other in silence.

Thor shook his head, "You should have given me some warning."

Loki crossed his arms, "So what? You could warn your friends?"

"Yes! Among other things. You think the best idea is for people to just see you like this?"

"I don't know!" Loki shouted, stunning Thor into silence, "It shouldn't matter. They didn't trust me as an Asgardian they won't trust me as a jötunn. I hate being something people need to be _warned_ about- but it wasn't my choice to have this hidden." The trickster was pacing at this point. He stopped and clenched his hands, arms straight at his sides, "I want people to be able to see me like this and look at me the same way they did. I don't want to have to hide who I am just to _not_ be accepted."

"Brother…" Thor said gently, walking over to where Loki now was, "I'm sorry." Loki looked at him with sad red eyes. "I am trying, I really am, but it's so hard to think of you as a jötunn after everything we'd been taught about them."

"It's hard to think of myself as one after that," he said quietly, he closed his eyes and hung his head.

Thor nodded, "I know- no, I don't know. But I imagine it must be. I am sorry for how I acted earlier."

"What do you want to tell them?"

"What do you want me to tell them?"

Loki looked at him uncertainly, "I don't know. I guess, just tell them the truth."

"Can you be more specific?"

"That Odin found me at the end of the war with Jötunnheim, thought I was abandoned and raised me as his son," Loki explained.

Thor nodded again, "I can do that. Is it alright if I don't tell them in the hallway, though? Can you wait for a better time?"

"Alright," the trickster sighed, closing his eyes and casting the spell on himself again.

"Is it hard to do that?" his brother asked.

"Not terribly," Loki replied with a reassuring smile. It would be easier if he didn't keep undoing it and just left it on, but he didn't want to do that. He was still having a hard time coming to terms with what he really was, and looking like this only made it harder.

* * *

><p>The two walked out into the corridor where Fandral and Volstagg were coming up with increasingly more horrific and unlikely reasons why Odin and Frigga would leave the throne room with them still inside.<p>

"Are you alright?" Volstagg asked when they noticed that the two had come out.

Thor smiled, "Yes, my friend, we just needed to have a talk between brothers." Loki simply nodded.

"What are you up to now, then?" Volstagg asked.

"I'll be returning to my chambers, I don't know what Thor wants to do," Loki said.

Thor looked at him uncertainly, "Are you sure you'll be safe?"

Loki grinned his slyest grin, "_Quite_ sure." Although this reassured Thor of his _brother's_ safety, it now made him question the wisdom of leaving Loki alone.

"I'm free, really," Thor said pleasantly, deciding that Loki would get up to whatever he was going to get up to whether Thor was there or not, "What would you two like to do?" The trickster walked away towards his chambers at this, again not caring for good-byes.

"I actually have something I need to do, I probably shouldn't have waited so long, but I couldn't leave Volstagg to worry on his own," Fandral said.

"Off to woo some maiden, Fandral?" Thor asked with a laugh.

The blonde warrior only gave a cheeky smile as he headed off, "A gentleman doesn't tell."

"I guess that means he's not a gentleman," Volstagg commented, causing Thor to laugh again.

* * *

><p>Loki sighed when he returned to his room, collapsing into the nearest chair and rubbing his temples. When did things get so complicated? Why did things have to get so complicated?<p>

His head was going in 5 different directions, all of them resulting in the same thing. A massive headache. A part of him was glad to be back, part of him ached to go back to Jötunnheim, part of him wanted to just be a good little boy and keep up the appearance spell, part of him still wanted to smack Thor for how he'd acted earlier, and part of him just wanted to hide away somewhere.

A knock at the door cut through the muddle of thoughts and caused his head to throb slightly. He groaned, until his brain had processed what had just happened. Who in Asgard would be knocking at his door?

"Who is it?" he asked warily, looking at his hands and deciding he was glad he hadn't gotten a chance to take the spell off.

"Fandral," the reply came. Loki groaned again, but managed to drag himself up and over to the door anyways.

"What?" he asked as he opened the door just enough that he was standing in the opening, not enough for it to be taken as an invitation.

Fandral was not dissuaded by this, and offered a warm smile, "May I come in?"

"Why?"

"I was hoping to talk with you." Loki raised an eyebrow. "Please?"

The trickster did not have the energy to make him go away. Rubbing his face he stepped aside and opened the door further, "Fine."

"Are you alright?" he asked as he came in.

"Just a headache," came the reply with an icy smile.

Fandral nodded, looking around the room for a moment. He had never been to Loki's quarters, event hough he'd spent a good deal of time in Thor's.

"Why do you want to talk with me?" Loki asked sharply after he'd closed the door. Even on a good day he didn't care to entertain guests. This was decidedly not a good day.

"Why did you stop like that when we were talking in the hallway?" Fandral asked softly.

He rolled his eyes, if this was all… "You just caught me off guard."

"Is it really that unthinkable that I'd offer to be there for you?"

The icy smile returned, "I think you and Thor's other friends have made it abundantly clear your feelings regarding me."

Fandral looked down at that and sighed, "I can't deny how they feel. But," he looked up at Loki, waiting until he could look into his eyes before continued, "I do not feel the same."

The trickster looked him over uncertainly before looking away, not sure he was willing to risk believing this. "Why should I trust you?"

The blonde warrior smiled sadly, "That's what friends do." Loki didn't react to this, and Fandral rubbed his neck as he tried to think of something to convince him. "Why don't we start over?"

This suggestion earned a suspicious glance. "What do you mean?"

"We never really got to know each other, for all the time we've known one another. Why not start over as if we were only just meeting?" he elaborated with his most winning smile, offering his hand.

"This sounds ridiculous," Loki muttered, reluctantly shaking the other man's hand. Hopefully there was no harm in humoring him.

Fandral looked down in alarm and placed his other hand on Loki's as well, causing the trickster to stiffen. "You're hands are like ice."

Right. He really needed to remember that his body temperature was now naturally a good 40º below that of everyone around him. "It's nothing," Loki insisted, wrenching his hand away.

"No, that is really worrisome, it feels as if you've _just_ been holding a pack of ice," he persisted, a concerned look on his face. He placed a hand to Loki's forehead and, before the man could object, moved it to his cheek, "You need to go to the healing room."

"I'm fine, really, stop touching me," he replied, taking a large step back, his face contorted into a strange mix of disbelief, rage, and denial at what Fandral had just done.

"Loki, you aren't," he said firmly, opening the door, "If you won't go to the healing room I'll bring a healer to you."

That was not likely to end well for him, "Wait." Fandral looked over at that. Loki squeezed his eyes shut, "Please- talk to Thor first."

"He'll say the same thing."

The trickster smiled sadly and shook his head, looking away, "I assure you- he won't."

With that, Loki was again left in his solitude, his thoughts now swirling worse than they had before. He thought back to before all of this, when the spell was still on him that he never knew about, he used to take warm, relaxing baths. He wondered if cold water would now qualify as warm for him and if that would be relaxing. What kind of spell had Odin put on him?

Now was not the time to find out, though, he didn't trust that Fandral would listen to him about seeing Thor and didn't really care to have a bath interrupted by some healer. Not that he really knew why the "dashing" warrior cared so much. Instead, Loki returned to where he had been sitting and lay his head back against the chair.

* * *

><p>Finding Thor had not been terribly difficult. It was about lunch time and, seeing as he was with Volstagg, it was not hard to guess where he might be. Fandral found them with Hogun and Sif, Thor being the first to notice he'd arrived.<p>

"Back so soon?" Thor asked, chuckling to himself. Sif rolled her eyes, she'd never cared for Fandral's womanizing.

"I need to speak with you," he said, not really managing to pretend things were alright. All four gave him a worried or confused look and he realized that he hadn't been specific enough, "Thor- alone, please?"

"Of course," the thunder god said quietly, standing up and looking to his friends who all nodded their understanding of the situation. He walked out of the room quickly with the concerned warrior and, as soon as they had left and checked the corridor was empty asked, "What is it?"

Fandral ran a hand through his hair, "I actually had went to speak with Loki."

"What about?"

"It doesn't matter," he replied and continued before Thor could ask further, "I think he's really ill."

"Why do you think that?" Thor asked in alarm, it was definitely possible. He couldn't think of a single time when they were growing up when Loki had said he wasn't feeling well, they only ever found out when he was so sick he passed out or something similar.

"I shook his hand and his skin is literally _like ice_, his forehead was the same."

The thunder god remained alarmed at this for a moment before remembering exactly why Loki's skin would be like ice. He chuckled slightly at the thought of his brother's reaction to Fandral checking his temperature, causing a look of confusion from the warrior.

"My friend," Thor said gently, "There's something I need to tell you."


	10. Chapter 10

"How long have you been hiding this?" Fandral asked after Thor had explained the basics.

The thunder god paused at this and thought about it, "Less than two weeks, I believe. It feels like a lifetime since I'd been exiled, though, so much has happened…"

"You only just found out?"

"I found out when I returned, Loki found out the day I was exiled," Thor answered.

Fandral placed a hand on his head, "That explains a bit of what happened."

"Explains but doesn't justify," he agreed. Fandral gave him a strange look, and he shrugged, "It's what Loki said about it."

"Huh," was all the warrior could think of in response. He shook his head, "Is there anything else I should know?"

"Most likely, but none of it is mine to tell," Thor said quietly. Fandral nodded. The thunder god laughed softly, "I'm not sure how to tell the others, though."

"I know what you mean," he said, placing a hand on his cheek, "Do you have to?"

"The spell my father had put on Loki to make him like an Asgardian is gone now and my brother, stubborn as I am, doesn't care to keep making himself look like one," Thor said quietly.

"You should probably tell them, then," he moved his hand over his forehead, "He cannot hope that will end well."

The thunder god laughed hollowly, "I think he's hoping he's reached the point where everyone distrusts or hates him so much that he can't make it worse."

"He may have," Fandral said, "But that's a Hel of a risk to take."

"I'm looking forward to it," Thor said bitterly. He shook his head, "I don't think I've ever wished more that my brother had never started with his pranks."

"I certainly hope he doesn't think this will improve anyone's opinions of the jötunn…"

"Again, he probably thinks that their reputation can't get any worse either."

The warrior shook his head and laughed slightly, "I love how much of this plan involves an incredible amount of pessimism."

"Are you going to come in and eat with us?" Thor asked, hoping to get off the subject.

"No, I think I have to go apologize."

* * *

><p>Fandral only managed to get one knock on the door, he was interrupted with an angry "Come in!" before his knuckles hit it a second time. He opened the door warily, and walked in to see Loki lying on a couch with his feet propped up on the armrest. He had a hand over his eyes and Fandral remembered what he'd said about having a headache.<p>

"I don't think I've ever seen you barefoot," the blonde warrior commented, gently closing the door behind him.

"I wasn't wearing them all day," the trickster responded without bothering to look up, "I take it you spoke with Thor?"

"Yes," he said, looking down, "I'm sorry about my reaction earlier. Why didn't you just tell me?"

Loki moved his hand so he could look at the warrior, "Would you really have believed me?"

As much as he wanted to say yes, Fandral sighed and shook his head, "I would have assumed it was some sort of trick." Loki placed his hand back smugly, which impressed the warrior because he had never before thought an arm movement could be _smug_. "So… you're a jötunn, what's that like?" The trickster moved his hand and simply stared at Fandral in disbelief, the warrior flashed him a bright smile.

"Asgard is now uncomfortably hot, but beyond that it's not terribly different," he said dully, rolling his eyes.

"It would be, I hadn't thought of that."

"There's a reason I'm wearing my summer clothes."

Fandral bit his lip, trying to think of how to respond, "Ah, Loki?" This earned a glare, but he went on anyways. "You do realize that clothes _insulate_, so if you aren't producing body heat- your winter coat will keep you cold."

The pale man covered his face with his hand and groaned, "You're right, how could I forget that?"

"Well, you have got a lot on your mind…"

Loki ignored this, shifting so that he was sitting up. Fandral was not naïve enough to take this as an invitation to sit next to him, which Loki was secretly thankful for. He instead motioned to the nearest chair, the warrior flashed him another smile before taking it.

"Thor said you want to go around Asgard looking like a jötunn," he said quietly.

"Are you here to talk me out of it?"

"Actually, I was going to ask if you plan to go around Asgard like that- why you're looking like this in the privacy of your own chambers."

Loki glared at him slightly, "Because I don't know if I want to see your reaction."

"Sounds like you will sooner or later," he pointed out, wondering how to put the other man at ease. It was so much easier with about everyone else he had ever met. He had fought villains who were more willing to trust him than Loki. Then, he had to admit that he'd fought villains he was more willing to trust than Loki.

The trickster shrugged like a petulant child, then sighed. He had been wanting to. He took the spell off as he crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow and waiting for Fandral to prove him right to be hesitant.

The warrior couldn't help but widen his eyes slightly. Someone changes species before your eyes you can't help but react a bit. He tilted his head slightly, "Your eyes are red."

"You do know what jötunn _are_ right? I believe you've seen them before."

He smiled and shook his head, looking down slightly, "You're right, I'm sorry. It's just startling because of how green your eyes usually are."

Loki gave him a disturbed look. His eyes were, had been, a rather striking shade of green but it still seemed unusual for someone to notice this.

"You think you're ready to deal with everyone's reaction?" he asked gently.

For a moment Loki didn't answer, looking straight ahead as he thought about it. He responded carefully, "Have you ever felt like you needed to do something even though you knew that about everyone around you would react badly? I don't mean _wanting_ to do something despite knowing it would bother people, but _needing_ to."

Fandral stroked his beard for a moment as he tried to think of what to say. He really hadn't, most of what he had wanted to do with his life was entirely in line with what people expected of him. "I haven't, I think I know what you mean, though. Does it feel like you're lying when you use that spell, even though you know that you're taking a pretty big risk by not?"

"It's more selfish than that," he said quietly, looking back at Fandral who smiled gently at him when he did. He looked away again and ran a hand through his slicked-back hair, "I need to accept what I actually am, I can't do that while pretending to be something I'm not."

The warrior shook his head and leaned back in the chair, "I really wish I could find a flaw in your logic." Loki glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. Fandral sat up and turned to Loki as an idea occurred to him, "Could you go to Jötunnheim?"

The trickster opened his mouth then paused, "What did Thor tell you?"

"Just that you were found abandoned there as an infant and Odin raised you as a son, and you only found it out… recently," he answered, confused, "He said anything else to know wasn't his to tell."

"He said that?"

"Yes."

Loki smiled, his brother really had matured. Then he sighed, looking over at Fandral, "I did, actually, for 2 days. I returned the casket and was told that I was not welcome there."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

They fell into silence for a moment, before something occurred to Fandral. It really had nothing to do with the situation at hand, but it was something he had been wondering about. "A long time ago, you disappeared for about a decade. If Thor knew anything about it, he refused to tell me. Where did you go?"

Loki frowned as he thought about it. The question was seemingly out of nowhere, and it took him a few moments to think of when this had happened. "Ah, right. I remember that. I went to… Midgard." Loki's eyes widened. It had been so long now that he'd forgotten, but he had already known and used another way to Midgard. "I need to speak to Thor," Loki said, standing up cautiously as he thought it through. This was right, he was sure of it. "Maybe not immediately, though…" He murmured to himself, wondering if it'd be wiser to try this first instead of getting his brother's hopes up prematurely. He nodded to himself, that was the better idea.

Fandral stood up as well, though warily, "What's going on?"

"I know another way to Midgard," Loki said quietly, "I think I do, at least, I'm not positive."

"You do need to speak to Thor," the warrior agreed, realizing what this meant.

"No- I need to make sure that I'm right first," he corrected, turning to Fandral, "You should leave now. I need to work this out."

"You aren't going to go to Midgard looking like that, right?"

Loki gave him a cold smile, "No- I thought it would be more subtle to walk around in full Asgard armor."

Fandral's lips tightened for a moment, but he quickly replaced this with a bright smile, "I look forward to hearing about your success and Thor's ability to return to Midgard." He refused to let Loki get to him. The trickster god nodded, and Fandral left.

Loki wrung his hands uncertainly. He thought this was right, but was in no mood to be wrong. Not least because, when it came to this sort of magic, being wrong could end with him in the vacuum of space, which was not a terribly appealing place to be. Once he got there he knew well enough how to travel around Midgard easily, as he had last time, it was getting there that was the concern.

The trickster flexed his fingers and used the spell to make himself appear mortal. He doubted very much that spending time thinking about this would suddenly make him realize some idea he'd forgotten.

"No time like the present," he said quietly, trying to sound confident in the hopes he could convince himself.


	11. Chapter 11

The spell worked the way Loki had expected it to. Well, close enough. He had ended up on Midgard, but his ability to aim was rather lacking. The jötunn had found himself in the tropics at the heat of the day and, while he managed to get to more Northern climates quickly enough, was quite certain that he would need a bit of time to recover before he attempted to get back to Asgard.

As a result of this, it was the start of dinner when he returned. Now, Loki could easily have skipped dinner and waited in Thor's room with the books on "Norse Mythology" he had acquired on his trip until his brother returned. This would be the simplest thing to do, the path of least resistance. And he did want to continue reading up on what mortals thought of them.

Loki placed the books down next to the books Kolga had given him and smiled. The past of least resistance had never been his preferred method of travel.

* * *

><p>The great hall of Asgard was as full of merrymaking as it always was. Although this meant that the room was filled with a dull roar, Loki was still able to get everyone's attention when he threw the doors open and walked in, Thor choked on the mead he was drinking at the sight of his brother, in full jötunn form.<p>

"I apologize for my lateness," he said easily, ignoring the tense silence as he walked along the table, "The aurora borealis is simply breathtaking this time of year, I couldn't bear to miss it."

Something clicked in Thor's head when his brother said that, he knew that term. Where did he know that term from?

"Loki," Odin said quietly, and the trickster gave him a pleasant smile, listening, "Do you know what you are doing?"

"I do."

Thor pushed his chair out and stood up, causing a murmur to run across the table- mostly of people hoping to see a fight. "You've done it, haven't you?" he asked, a smile spreading across his face as he walked down the table to meet his brother, "You found a way to Midgard."

Loki smirked at him, "Did you think I would let you down?"

"Is that true?" Frigga asked, sighing with relief when he nodded. She had been pained to see her son longing for Jane, and was quite relieved to hear that he would now be able to see her again, "That is wonderful."

Odin nodded, "It is." The allfather was not happy with his son's actions, but decided the best plan right now was to not make a fuss. He was already planning how he would scold Loki for this.

"I apologize for interrupting," Volstagg said, looking between the allfather and the two brothers, "But I hope that I'm not the only one wondering why it is that Loki is, well, blue."

"Do you care to answer this one, father?" Loki said, still smiling pleasantly.

Thor looked warily at his brother and quietly muttered, "Please don't get _yourself_ exiled, I don't think you would survive on Earth." The trickster's smile faltered at the thought of being banished to New Mexico, he would very likely die in that heat. His smile returned quickly and he just looked at Odin expectantly.

"This is not the time," Odin said, "You acted rashly, Loki."

"I only thought Thor would want to know the first second I was certain I had a way to Midgard," the trickster said, his face more serious and his eyes pleading. Thor decided to follow suit, hoping that his father either wouldn't notice or wouldn't be upset that Loki was most likely lying. The thunder god appreciated it no matter what the real reason that Loki had come now.

Odin's eyes darted to the two for a moment and he smiled slightly. He stood up and regarded the table, who was rather interested to hear what he had to say. "I would first wish to make it clear that Loki is son in every way that matters," he began, he looked down at his wife for a moment, Frigga smiled up at him. He again looked up, "This is why we kept the truth of his birth a secret, because we did not want anyone to question this fact. The reality is that I found Loki abandoned on Jötunnheim when he was an infant, and have raised him as my own since that day," Odin smiled a bit, "He is, as Volstagg put it so eloquently, blue because this is his true form."

Loki appreciated that his father had done this. Having everyone's eyes on Odin had allowed him to leave the room without any more of a fuss. He stopped at the door and waited for Odin to finish, looking back at his father. Their eyes met for a moment and Odin smiled more broadly, Loki returned with a small smile. At this point he walked out the door, not caring if anything came after this.

Muffled through the door, he heard his father say something else but he could not hear what. After a few moments, the sound of merrymaking started back up and Thor walked out of the door. He was startled to see Loki still leaning against it.

"I'll never actually know," he said with a thick laugh, "I'll never know if I actually had been abandoned or not." Thor looked at him sadly, not sure what to say. Loki looked at him, a pained smile on his face, "I killed my real father, Thor. What is wrong with me?"

"What do you mean?" the thunder god asked gently, he had not been told anything about Loki's birth father.

"Father… Odin… he told me that I was Laufey's son. And knowing this, I planned and committed his assassination," Loki said quietly, covering his face with his hands.

"Laufey's son…" Thor said quietly.

"That's what I said when he told me."

"Come on," he said, placing an arm around Loki's shoulder and steering him, "Let's get you out of here before they finish."

* * *

><p>As much as Thor wanted to see Jane, he knew that he was not a skilled sorceror and would need Loki's help for this to happen. Also, he still loved his brother and hated to see him like this. So he led him to Loki's own room, talking about the parts of their childhood that had been better for the boy. Reminding him of the time he'd cut off Sif's hair got a smile out of him. Thor actually hated that memory, because it marked the point when the two officially started hating each other, but it was not out of nowhere. Sif and Loki had been tormenting each other for many years, each gradually escalating, before that happened.<p>

"I'm sorry I wasn't a better brother," Thor said when they walked into the room.

"I was hardly the best sibling, either," Loki reminded him with a smile. His stomach growled. The trickster placed a hand on his forehead, "No wonder I've felt so awful today I haven't eaten since last night."

"I can go get you some food," the thunder god offered, but Loki waived his hand not to.

"I have something better than that," he said, disappearing into his bedroom for a few moments, leaving Thor to wonder what he was talking about. When he reappeared, munching on what Thor could only imagine was some kind of fruit, his brother only gave him a disturbed look.

"What is _that_?"

"Jötunn food, you wouldn't like it," Loki replied, smiling to himself as he ate it.

"You look like you're enjoying that."

"I am."

Thor shook his head, "You have _never_ enjoyed food, though. You've always been the pickiest eater and even what you were willing to eat you didn't like."

"I know."

The thunder god scratched his head, not really sure how to react to this. It made sense, but it was still strange.

"Why are you having such a hard time with this?" Loki asked quietly.

He smiled a sad smile, "I know that by all rights everything else should be the larger concern. However, this… It makes it more real."

"I understand, I'm sorry."

"You never told me what it was like in Jötunnheim," Thor said, his smile turning warm.

"I don't know if you want me to," Loki said quietly.

"It is all right if you liked it better there," he said with a smile.

"Is it really?"

Thor looked away, "I really wish that I could say yes."

"I understand," Loki said again, smiling at his brother, "Thank you for the sentiment." He looked out the window for a moment, "Do you want to go to Midgard tomorrow morning?"

The thunder god's eyes lit up and he almost said 'yes' before deciding to be more rational about this. He shook his head, "I should speak to Heimdall, find out when she has free time or something like that. I wouldn't want to interrupt her during an important part of her research."

"I think she'd want to see you even if she was in the middle of something important," Loki told him, Thor smiled at his brother. "But this way is probably better. I don't have the best aim with this spell, so leave a bit of time to get around the world. 10 minutes or so."

"You realize the place we're going is very warm, right?" Thor asked quietly.

"I will work something out," Loki told him with a reassuring smile. He was not convinced, though. He was uncomfortable enough just at Asgard, and he remembered how much warmer New Mexico was. He would figure something out, if only because he had to.

* * *

><p>Thor went to see Heimdall that night, eager to make plans as soon as he could. As usual, the watchman did not need to turn to be aware of his presence.<p>

"So, what did your brother get up to tonight?" Heimdall asked as Thor approached him.

"You don't know?"

The watchman shook his head, "Your brother has near-constantly shielded himself ever since he first learned how to. I only know that he got up to anything because the dinner festivities had been suddenly hidden from me."

"Nothing as bad as he could have," Thor replied, not really sure exactly what to say. "He came to tell me that he'd found a way to Midgard."

"He has? That's wonderful!" Heimdall said with a smile. It was the first time that anyone had mentioned something Loki had done that he responded positively to, but it was genuine. The watchman's happiness in hearing that Thor was able to return to Midgard rivaled that of Thor's. He had grown weary of the lovesick prince's near-constant pestering over Jane. While it was understandable, there was only so long you could watch over a mortal. They weren't terribly interesting creatures. And knowing that Loki would be out of Asgard again was a delightful side benefit.

"It is. I plan to go tomorrow."

"And you'd like my help in deciding when to."

Thor raised an eyebrow that the watchmen was already aware of this, "I thought you said you couldn't see anything that went on around Loki."

Heimdall chuckled, "Your intentions are not hard to read, son of Odin."

"I suppose they aren't," he agreed with a smile, "Can you help me?"

"Yes, I've still been checking up on her often as you had asked. She spends most of her time in the place you had stayed with her, and is fully awake by 8 most mornings," Heimdall said, trying not to sound as incredibly bored with this as he actually was.

Thor thanked the watchman for his help before leaving to tell Loki his plans. While the thunder god doubted very much that he'd be able to get any sleep this night, he hoped that giving his brother as much warning as possible about having to wake up early would help him be in a more amiable mood. He couldn't deny that, as excited as he was, he wasn't sure if he could rely on his brother to be civil to mortals.


	12. Chapter 12

"Wait, something is wrong," Loki said after they had arrived at Midgard. Although Thor had wished to stay with his usual look, he'd let his brother talk him into something less noticeable until they arrived at Jane's. So, once again he was clothed in a t-shirt and jeans, thanks to the trickster's magic. Of course, considering that Loki was wearing a thick white jacket, in New Mexico, he couldn't help but think that any chance of being inconspicuous was ruined. That Thor refused to return to Midgard without Mjölnir also didn't help on that front.

"What?" Thor asked, concerned.

Loki glared at the ground, "We're at the place that the bifröst had first dropped you." Thor still did not see the problem. "This is where I _wanted_ us to be. Why in Hel didn't this work before?"

The thunder god chuckled, "Be thankful for small miracles, brother."

"Miracles? I could have died yesterday," the jötunn spat.

"The Norns smiled on us today, why question it? Anyways, we should start walking, Jane's place is some ways that way," he said, pointing.

"I could magic us there now."

Thor raised an eyebrow at his brother, "You think that two people just _appearing_ in a place wouldn't arouse suspicion?"

Loki glared and pulled up the hood on his jacket. It was certainly making the heat bearable (the trickster shuddered at the thought that he may have to _thank_ Fandral for his advice), but the thought of walking all that way in it was not pleasant. "I wish I could say that you owe me for this."

"Let's say it makes us even," Thor suggested, "Come on. Her place is air conditioned."

"What's wrong with the air that they have to condition it?" Loki asked warily.

The thunder god smiled at him, "No, it's a term they use for something that makes it cold inside."

"Oh," he said gently, starting to walk in the direction Thor had pointed, "Come on, then, what are you waiting for?"

* * *

><p>Jane sighed, sipping her morning coffee as she flipped through yet another book on the Norse Gods. She and Darcy had read numerous experts' takes on the subject, comparisons of the myths from various times, how the introduction of Christianity had affected them. It was infuriating. She had no way of being able to separate myth from fact without being able to ask someone from Asgard.<p>

"Maybe you should take a break for awhile," Darcy suggested from behind her computer.

"You're probably right," Jane agreed, resting her head on her hand, "It's just so… aggravating to have all my data back, suddenly know something _this big_ and have no way to know what's true and what isn't." She stood up and walked over to check her instruments, "And nothing we've picked up has been him…"

Darcy looked up, not really sure what to say to that. She wasn't the best at consoling people or giving relationship advice. "Well, hey, it sounded like things were pretty hairy there when he went back, he's probably still trying to get everything back to normal," she pointed out.

"I know," Jane said, smiling at Darcy, "It hasn't been _that_ long, I'm just being impatient."

"All the more reason to take a break," she agreed, looking up from her computer and out the front windows. Darcy raised her eyebrows, "Or maybe not."

"What?" Jane asked, looking at the girl in confusion before following her gaze. He was still a ways off, but she recognized him instantly. She had no idea who he was with, but also didn't really care. Without a second thought, not even for the fact that she was barefoot, Jane was out the door and running towards him.

Thor and Loki both looked up when they heard Jane happily shout Thor's name. He saw her running towards him and rushed over to her as well, the two met with a warm embrace.

"Oh, you're back," she sighed, hugging him close and lacing her fingers through his hair.

"I told you I would be," he whispered into her ear.

After a few moments of this, Loki cleared his throat and the two broke their embrace. Jane looked over at him before glancing up at Thor, "And who is this?"

"My brother, Loki," Thor said with a smile, turning to Loki, "Obviously, this is Jane."

Jane hesitated for a moment and quietly said to Thor, "Isn't your brother the one who sent that thing to kill us?"

"No," Loki replied, "I only sent it to keep Thor from returning to Asgard."

"A lot of people could have died that day," she told him.

"Did they?"

"No, thankfully we were able to get everyone to safety."

"Then, while I regret my actions, it could have been worse," Loki replied quietly.

Jane looked at Thor for an explanation. He ran a hand through his hair nervously, "It's a long story. He won't hurt you."

"I don't trust him," she said.

"I'm not asking you to," Loki said, getting rather sick of her speaking about him as if he weren't there. Thor shot a look at his brother, who shot one back.

"Fine," Jane said, shaking her head, "I guess you should both come in."

"Blessings on the person who invented air conditioning," Loki said with a small sigh when they walked inside.

Jane gave him an odd look before turning to Thor, "Would you like some coffee?"

"Yes," he said with a smile. They both walked over to the kitchen area where Thor quietly did his best to explain what had happened since, trying to leave out the parts that would have made her even more distrustful of his brother and help her understand why he was there. Despite his best efforts, Jane still kept looking at him to be sure he wasn't up to anything.

"So, who are you?" Darcy asked.

"Loki," he replied quietly, not looking at her.

"The trickster god, right?"

He raised an eyebrow and glanced at the girl, "Yes, why?"

"We've been looking into the mythology about you guys," she replied, bringing up the document she had with notes on Loki and creating a new one next to it, "Could you answer some questions for me?"

"I suppose."

"Great!" Darcy said, placing her taser on the table next to her just in case before motioning to the chair next to her for him to sit down. He did uncertainly. "First- what are you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked sharply, what sort of a rude question was that?

The girl adjusted her glasses and read through her notes, either oblivious or apathetic that the question had offended him. "Well, there's some disagreements on your race. Some people think you're the same as the other gods, others think you're a frost giant, some think you're an elf, who's right?"

"I'm a frost giant, though the proper term is jötunn."

"That explains the air conditioning comment," she said as she typed his answer into the new text document, she was about to move onto her next question before she thought of something, "Hey- do you want me to get you a glass of ice water? This is probably a bit warm for you, too."

"That would be helpful, thank you," he said, a bit surprised that she'd thought of that.

"Hey, don't sound so surprised," she said with a grin, standing up and walking over to near where Jane and Thor were talking.

Jane stopped the conversation and looked to her, "You know not to trust him, right?"

"He's the trickster god so, yeah, I kind of figured," Darcy replied with an eyeroll, glabbing a glass before getting ice from the freezer.

Jane shook her head, "Just as long as you're careful."

"I don't think he'd try anything," Thor said gently.

"Why did you bring him?" Darcy asked as she filled the glass with cold water, "Bringing an ice giant to New Mexico seems like a bad idea."

"I thought you said he was your brother," Jane said.

"He is- adopted," Thor clarified before answering Darcy's question, "He knows sorcery and I don't, he had to take me."

"What happened to that… Rose thing?"

"She means the Bifröst," Jane explained.

"I had to destroy it, the whole situation is complicated."

"Sounds like it," Darcy said before going back to the table and handing Loki the glass of water. He took it, looked it over for a moment before frosting the glass to help it stay cold. Darcy's eyes widened, "Hey- Thor just said you knew sorcery. Can you show me anything?"

"I don't think Jane would approve," he answered before taking a sip of the water.

"She doesn't approve of anything fun," the girl agreed, rolling her eyes, "Alright- back to the questions," she scrolled through her information and looked at him, "Did you _really_ give birth to an 8-legged horse?"

"Sleipnir, yes."

"And you gave him to Odin?"

Loki thought back to what had happened, it had been very long ago, and his lips tightened. Gave was a bit of a generous description of what had happened. "Pass."

"Are you… _interviewing_ him?" Jane asked as she and Thor walked back to the table.

"We need to separate the myth from reality, right?" she asked, before moving on to the next bit, "And you had three kids with a frost giantess and two with an Asgard goddess, right?"

"Not to my knowledge…" Loki said uncertainly. He supposed it was possible…

"What about being impregnated with ogresses after eating a witch's heart?"

"I do not regret that."

Jane sighed, she still did not trust Loki but also wanted to spend time with Thor. She looked over at him, and he gave her a reassuring smile. "Alright," Jane said, taking Thor's hand in hers, "We'll leave you to that." She led Thor outside, to the trickster's great surprise.

Darcy watched them leave with a smile before returning to the question, "Did you really cut off Sif's hair and have to get the elve's to spin gold to replace it?"

"That's confusing two events. I purposefully cut off Sif's hair and she beat me up until I learned a spell to regrow it," he smirked, "Of course… I made it regrow as snakes." Darcy raised her eyebrows, typing furiously. "The time I had to get spun gold from the elves was when I'd accidentally cut off mother's- Frigga's- hair."

"How do you accidentally cut someone's hair off?"

Loki looked at the glass, "You try a spell you don't know how works and without knowing how to properly aim it and just end up happy that you didn't cut her head off."

The girl glanced over to make sure that her taser was still there and armed before she continued typing.


	13. Chapter 13

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Thor asked Jane quietly as they walked out of her house. While he was grateful to be able to spend time alone with her, he knew how little she trusted Loki and didn't want her to do anything she was uncomfortable with.

Jane nodded, "I think so. I don't trust him, but I do trust you. And Darcy can take care of herself better than you'd expect."

"I don't know if tasers work on _frost_ giants."

She laughed at that, "I don't just mean that. She's not always on the same page, but I think she can handle herself," she took a deep breath, "You really think he won't hurt anyone?"

"No," Thor said, thinking about it very carefully, knowing that he was not willing to risk being wrong about this, "No, I really don't."

"That's good enough for me," she said, squeezing his hand and kissing his cheek.

The thunder god smiled, "What have you been up to since I've left?"

"Trying to work out how to find you, of course," she said with a smile, "Even if you've ruined your way to get here- I think us _mortals_ can still figure out how to get to you."

"I sincerely hope that you're right," he replied.

"Did you get breakfast yet?" Jane asked.

Thor shook his head. Loki had eaten more of that jötunn food, he imagined, but he'd been too eager to leave to eat anything.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. is pretty impressive, they got that diner and everywhere mostly fixed up. Spent a lot of time keeping that as hushed up as they could, which wasn't easy," she said, before frowning slightly, "I can't help but feel weird about how much money the government must be spending on this…"

"If it's to protect people, isn't it worth it?" he asked gently.

Jane ran a hand through her hair and nodded, "Sorry, Darcy is a political science major. I've been starting to think more about things like government funding than I ever had. It's great that we're protecting people- but what if it means funds aren't getting to schools, that people don't have clean drinking water on _this_ continent…"

"I see what you mean."

"Again, sorry, I got off track- do you want more of those pancakes?" she asked.

"I didn't mind, it was interesting," Thor assured her, "And yes- I would like that very much."

* * *

><p>Thor and Jane easily spent 3 hours at the diner, not even realizing that they had until Jane glanced at the clock. It was time they both needed- they spent it talking about each other, their situations, differences between their worlds; as well as making silly jokes and occasionally just sitting in silence, happy to have the other there. Their walk back was leisurely, more going back because they knew they had to at some point than because they necessarily wanted to.<p>

"I didn't know you had curtains," Thor commented as they got close enough to see the house, the windows of which were now covered.

"That's because I don't," Jane responded, pulling her hand from Thor's and running towards the house, Thor close behind her and quickly catching up. She threw open the door and stopped.

Everything was more or less as it was, just frosted. Darcy was still sitting at her table, now _she_ was the one wearing the white winter jacket and Loki was sitting next to her, now wearing an intricately decorated jacket and facing away from the door.

Jane walked in and looked around, "What _happened_?" she asked, but before anyone could answer, she looked over to her electronics, "If _any_ of that is broken…" she meant the threat but was relieved to see that the electronics weren't covered with the same layer of frost as about everything else. Hopefully Darcy had had the foresight to prevent that.

"Darcy was very adamant that I make sure those weren't harmed," Loki told her.

"Thank you, Darcy," she said, smiling at the girl before finally getting a look at the trickster. She gasped and put a hand to her face before looking at Thor, "Why is he blue?"

"Someone was more disturbed by the red eyes," Loki responded airily.

"Because he's a frost giant," Thor said quietly, looking at his brother and feeling fairly disappointed, "It was a spell that made him look otherwise."

"I'd just like to say that this was my idea," Darcy said, noticing Thor's look. Both Jane and Thor looked at her sternly and she shrugged, "Come on, the first time you have a _real live_ magic user and you guys wouldn't have tried to get him to show you as much as possible?"

"You shouldn't have agreed, Loki," Thor said harshly.

Loki sighed, "I know- but I wanted to know more about Norse Mythology and she only would if I'd show her more magic and… it got a little bit out of hand." He stood up, returning his skin to its pale color, which only disturbed Jane more. "I believe I can undo this easily enough."

He walked over to the windows and gently placed his fingertips on the frost, focusing. It gradually disappeared. He looked back and nodded. He continued with each window, getting rid of the ice more quickly each time.

Jane sat down at the table and placed her face in her hands.

Thor walked over to his brother and quietly said, "I know you- why did you _really_ do this?"

"Because I _do_ want to find out more about the mythology, and this was a convenient excuse to practice ice magic," he answered as quietly.

"I hope you didn't do any damage…" the thunder god muttered.

"Don't worry, dearest brother, I haven't ruined your chances with Miss Jane," he said tersely. He paused in his work, "Do you think it's possible that the mortals have had access to prophecies about us?"

"It's possible," Thor responded, "But it doesn't seem likely. Even if they did- you know that you can't prevent prophecies from happening."

"No, I suppose not," Loki agreed, returning to what he was doing, removing the frost from the couch by gently rubbing a hand over it. He was mostly done, but he knew that if the ice melted it could cause a problem, so he looked around for any he may have missed.

"Why did you think this was a good idea?" Jane asked Darcy, shaking her head.

"Why do you think it wasn't?" Darcy asked. Jane wasn't sure how to respond.

"I guess it wasn't awful, I just don't like having him around," she muttered.

"We were talking about that, actually," Jane gave her a concerned look and she rolled her eyes, "You guys were gone for _hours_, we talked about stuff. Anyways- we all have cell phones. If Loki goes somewhere else, we give him our numbers, he gets one of those pre-paid phones and sends us that number and then we can call him whenever Thor wants to leave!"

"Where would he go?" Jane asked, intrigued.

Darcy shrugged, "I've been trying to convince him Alaska just so that he stays in the states, but Iceland sounds more appealing to him for obvious reasons. Anywhere that's colder than here."

This idea sounded very promising, although the idea of a trickster god running about Earth unsupervised definitely had its downsides. Jane sighed, "I don't even know how long Thor wants to stay this time…"

"Well, you have options however long he wants to," Darcy pointed out, "I could even just take him to the library or something for a few hours."

"Alright, but I want you to clear any "or something" ideas you get _before_ you do them," Jane said firmly.

* * *

><p>"Where are we going?" Loki asked as Darcy started getting ready to go. Thor only felt comfortable staying for the day because he hadn't really made any plans to be there longer, but he wanted to stay for as long as he could anyways. So Darcy, true to her word, was going to be taking Loki out until someone called them to return.<p>

"I told you," she replied, making sure that her purse was packed with all essentials, "We need to get out of here to give Thor and Jane _alone time_," she emphasized the last two words to make it clear exactly what she was expecting to happen.

The trickster winced, "He's my brother, I do not need that image." Darcy rolled her eyes. "And I know that- _where_ are we going, not _why_."

"Well, it's around lunch time if you're hungry, I guess we could just go to the library for the day."

"I'm fine with that," he said, "you should bring your umbrella."

"We live in a desert and there wasn't anything in the news, I don't think I need to," she said, shaking her head at the suggestion.

Loki groaned, "Please, just trust me on this one."

Darcy looked at him for a moment, considering why he would be so adamant about this. Eventually realization dawned over her, as her eyes darted over to Thor, who was having a conversation on the couch with Jane and then to Mjölnir. She raised her eyebrows, "I think I'll go get my umbrella."

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?" Darcy had decided to go with lunch, ignoring Loki's protests. She was hungry, only had a poptart for breakfast, and if she was going to be babysitting the God of Mischief, she was <em>not<em> going to do it on an empty stomach.

Of course Darcy, being a college student, was hardly a fan of particularly fancy or even healthy cuisine. So the lucky trickster's introduction to Midgard food was _fast_ food. He was not impressed.

"I do not think there's anything I would consider _edible_ here," he replied disdainfully.

Darcy just shrugged, "Well, if you want anything later we can find something that matches your standards." She then continued eating her burger, ignoring the look she got for that because, as far as she was concerned, it was undeserved.

She wasn't really bothered by the idea of eating when the person she was with wasn't. Or with using the absolute best table manners, Loki tried to avoid noticing. He busied himself with tugging at the sleeves of his white jacket and ignoring the looks people had been giving him for wearing it.

"What is it that you're drinking?" he asked at one point as she took a sip of her soda, he'd actually been wondering this since he saw how it was dispensed, but had forgotten to ask.

Darcy shrugged, "It's just coke." She looked at him and his expression told her that he had no idea what coke was. She'd forgotten how little they knew about their culture. "Uh… it's carbonated, bubbly. And sweet. Do you want to try it?" She tilted the drink so the straw was pointing at him. He looked at it suspiciously for a moment, not sure if he wanted to try it or if he wanted to risk Midgard germs.

Hesitantly he took the cup from her and sipped some. The fizzing caught him by surprise and he threw his hand to his mouth, coughing roughly. Darcy quickly grabbed a napkin and offered it to the trickster, who took it gratefully to clean his hand.

"Agh…" he growled, "What kind of sadistic drink is that?"

Darcy covered her mouth so as not to laugh, "I guess you could call it an acquired taste."


	14. Chapter 14

They weren't at the library for terribly long before Loki had found all the books on Norse-and other- mythologies. It would have been sooner, but Darcy had to explain the library catalogue and then do it for him when's he got sick of how bad he was at using computers. If this had annoyed the trickster, he showed no sign of it.

They situated themselves in a mostly empty area of the library with Darcy working on her laptop while Loki read through the books and occasionally commented on the accuracy of myths she hadn't asked him about. After an hour or so of this, the familiar, though uncommon, sound of rain hitting the window drew Darcy's attention. She raised her eyebrows at this before glancing at the trickster, who smirked slightly but continued reading.

"So… does that mean?" Darcy asked quietly.

Loki didn't look up from his book, "I really have no idea what you think it means. But whatever it is- pray you never see what it's like when he gets truly furious."

The girl rolled her eyes, although she supposed she didn't want to think about _her_ family's sex life either. But if what she assumed Loki was implying was true, then she was glad for Jane.

The storm got a bit worse, but not terribly. It lasted a great deal longer than Darcy had expected it could but, she supposed, Thor _was_ a God. It wasn't until a few hours after the storm had subsided that Darcy got a call saying they should head back. In that time Darcy had dragged Loki to another restaurant he had no interest eating in as well as to an ice cream parlour (Loki would never admit he cared for such a thing, but the amount he ate betrayed his fondness) that they were at when the call came.

Darcy wasn't sure how to respond the duration of the phone call. She could be rather oblivious, she knew it, but even she could hear the mix of elation and sadness in Jane's voice. It was hard to respond to.

"Is everything all right?" Loki asked quietly after she ended the phone call.

Darcy nodded absentmindedly, "I think so… We should head back, I guess it's time for you guys to leave."

"Ah."

Darcy stood up and cleared off the table they'd been sitting at, "I thought you'd sound happier, you don't seem to like it here much."

"I don't care much for where I'm going, either," he said quietly, standing up as well and following her. Darcy didn't ask for any more details. Whether this was because she didn't care or thought better of it mattered little to him. He was grateful for it and regretted saying anything.

* * *

><p>The trip back was uneventful, although it was also rather drawn out as Jane and Thor came up with every excuse not to be parted from each other. No one interrupted or complained about this.<p>

When they returned to Asgard, Loki made it clear that they could go again whenever Thor wished before retiring to his quarters. He did not know where his brother went afterwards and, though he knew it was a bit cruel, didn't care.

Some part of him preferred Midgard. No one knew him there, beyond laughable mythology. The looks he got were only because he dressed oddly, which wasn't entirely his fault, not because he was hated. And, though he'd never admit it out loud, that mortal girl was not the least tolerable being he'd met and he'd actually enjoyed showing off and trying out his ice powers with her.

And ice cream… How had Asgard failed to come up with something like that?

Of course, he couldn't walk around in his true form there. Frost giants were also relegated to mythology. Though they weren't _just_ portrayed as monsters the way Asgard seemed to see them, Midgard certainly wouldn't be able to handle one walking around.

He still knew full well that his situation was due to his own actions, but he couldn't help but wish there were somewhere he felt comfortable being. Thor seemed at home both on Asgard and Midgard. The only place Loki'd felt at home was a place he'd tried to destroy and was now not only not welcome, but honestly felt guilty being at.

The trickster locked the doors to his chambers and stripped off his jacket, shirt, and boots before sitting down and sighing. In addition to returning to his Asgardian garb, he had also removed the spell that kept him looking like he belonged in this realm upon returning to it. He felt more natural like this, but also out of place. That was a feeling not likely to go away any time soon.

After awhile of being alone with his thoughts, he heard a knock on he door. To his surprise, he felt relieved at the distraction- normally it brought the exact opposite feeling.

He would have usually just opened the door and demanded to know why he was being disturbed, but in his barely-dressed state he instead got up hesitantly and found himself lost in thoughts of trying to decide whether or not he should redress. This was apparently decided subconsciously as he found himself opening the door as he was.

"What?" he asked gently, raising an eyebrow to see Fandral standing in his doorway. He wondered if his brother had a hand in this. If that were the case, he also wondered why. It had been rather… _disconcerting_ the way that the "dashing" warrior suddenly seemed so interested in the trickster.

The blond warrior smiled his most disarming smile when the door opened and as soon as the question was asked he started replying, "Thor had told me that you two had returned from Midgard—" he stopped mid sentence, suddenly noticing the state Loki was in. He was fairly certain it had been centuries since anyone outside of the healing room had seen Loki's upper arms, much less his entire chest. He looked uncertainly at the trickster, "Is this a bad time?"

"A bad time for what? You haven't told me what you want."

"I… Well, I had only wished to speak with you," he said, glancing away uncertainly, "If that is alright."

Loki raised an eyebrow, "What about?"

"Nothing specific," he replied, looking up at Loki, "Although I am curious how your trip went."

"Thor could tell you that."

"He couldn't tell me how it went for you," Fandral pointed out.

The trickster shrugged and stepped aside to let the man in, "I suppose there's no harm."

"Are you certain it is not a bad time?"

"Why would you think it was?"

"You're… well… you aren't wearing a shirt or anything… That isn't like you"

Loki shrugged and looked away, "I feel more comfortable like this. If you wish, I can redress first."

"If you're more comfortable, then it's fine. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't intruding," he said, looking at Loki with a bright smile. It seemed easier and wiser to simply go with the situation.

"What do you want to know about the trip?" Loki asked quietly after he'd closed the door. He gestured to the warrior to sit down while trying not to feel self-conscious.

"Everything you're willing to tell me."

It was not long before Thor again wanted to go to Midgard, this time for a week. The visits continued and eventually they'd established a pattern of Thor staying a week in Midgard and the rest of the month in his own realm, although it was likely that he wished to shift to spending more time in Midgard.

As Darcy had said, Loki was able to spend most of these trips traveling Midgard and used their technology to keep in contact to know when it was time to head home. It was also useful in case of an emergency, but thusfar neither brother had come up against anything they needed the other's help on.

As time went on, Jane grew closer to figuring out how to create a bridge and Loki knew that soon he would not be needed for these trips. His stomach squirmed at the thought, it had been nice being useful. Even if only as transportation.

Asgard had more or less gotten used to Loki in his jotunn form. They still recognized that he was a son of Odin and was to be treated as such. This only really meant that no one outright attacked him. He knew that there were rumors going about that the reason he had been up to such mischief and had ended up doing such awful things was because of his true race, though he knew not how to feel about them.

Loki stayed well behaved now, though. While he thought up many delightful plots he acted on none of them. He did not have nearly the leeway he used to. This only seemed to frighten people more, though, certain that he was plotting something worse than ever.

He knew better than to think he could ever make them happy.

As a result of not getting into trouble, he rarely saw his father. As a result of his insistence upon staying in his jotunn form, he was never called to the throne room. This is why, when a guard knocked on the door and told him that his presence was demanded by the Allfather, Loki felt a great deal of concern.

As he got properly dressed, boots and all, for the first time since he'd went to Jotunnheim his mind ran through what could have happened. He could have been framed. Someone could have been hurt. It certainly could not be a good thing of any kind.

Thor was waiting for him outside of his quarters as he left them, something he was grateful to discover. Unfortunately, his brother had no better an idea of what was going on than he did. They spent the walk to the throne room wondering what on Earth it could be, asking if the other had gotten into any trouble to cause this, and coming up with no answers.

It was actually somewhat nostalgic for them both, there had been a few times they'd been called to their father's throne room without knowing why as children, and they'd spent the walks in much the same fashion. There was comfort in the familiarity of the situation.

For as tumultuous as his relationship with his brother had gotten, it was strange for Loki to think that they had grown close again. Their mother had also been going out of her way to make sure to show Loki affection when she got the chance. Fandral, though he still didn't know why, also continued his insistence upon finding out how Loki's life was going. The talks were actually getting to be comfortable and more mutual than before.

Loki glanced over at his brother for a moment and smiled, "Whatever this is- I want you to know that I am grateful to have you here."

Thor looked over in surprise. This had been the first time his brother had said anything of the sort in far longer than he'd care to think about. After getting over the initial surprise he smiled back, "I am as well."

They reached the doors to the throne room soon after. They glanced at each other, silently reassuring the other that nothing as horrible as they were imagining would actually happen. With a deep breath, they entered.


	15. Chapter 15

The first thing that Loki noticed upon walking into the throne room was that it felt oddly comfortable. He didn't have much time to figure out why before Thor muttered, "What in the Allfather's name…?"

Loki glanced at him and followed his gaze, finding the reason that the room was more comfortable when he did. Several jotunn were before their father, one standing and the rest genuflecting. He glanced over at them and, to his delight and greater concern, he realized that he recognized one.

"Kolga," he murmured, almost smiling. He would have were he not in his father's throne room. Thor glanced over at him at that, but he said nothing else and gave no other sign that this meant anything.

The two walked over beside the group of jotunn and bowed slightly, placing a fist over their chest, in greeting.

"Father, what is going on?" Loki asked quietly, fixing his gaze on his father's face.

"We received an envoy from Jotunnheim who had requested to see you," Odin replied, gesturing to the standing jotunn. Loki looked over, recognizing the jotunn who he had thought was in charge when he had returned the casket. She, Loki continued to hope that was correct, glanced at him. After this, the allfather spoke to her, "He is here now, what is your business?"

"I would prefer to speak with him privately, as I told you earlier," the jotunn replied.

Loki hid an amused smile- that was something his father was unlikely to ever allow. He did not, as Odin's next statement- peppered with impatience and a slight threat- made plain.

The jotunn stiffly turned to face Loki, although her eyes darted between him and Odin. She spoke with all the formality that any from Asgard tended to, "Loki Odinsson, I have already told the Allfather that Jotunnheim has chosen to see your returning the casket as an offering of peace. We have also been _informed_," her eyes flicked to Kolga, "that because you have spent your life around the casket, you have developed powers that have been lost to us and that you may be able to help us to regain them."

Loki's eyes widened for a moment before he returned his face to his usual expressionless state he felt most comfortable with in his father's presence. "What are you asking?"

"I have been sent to ask you to return to Jotunnheim for that purpose," she replied, somehow managing to stiffen more. Loki would have smirked that it was obvious she didn't want to do this, except that it was another reminder that he was not welcome in a place he had felt so at home.

The trickster looked to his mother, whose face was unreadable, and then to his father. He quietly said, "What do you wish, father?" With that question, the jotunn turned back to the Allfather and pointedly did not look back at Loki.

Odin stroked his beard for a moment, "It seems that this could be beneficial to both of our kingdoms. If you are willing, I will allow it." He glanced at Frigga, who nodded her agreement before looking away. The idea of her child leaving again, while her other son spent increasingly less time at home, was painful. But it was likely for the best.

Without bothering to ask Loki what he wanted, Odin continued, "He will need time to prepare for the trip. In a month's time he will be ready."

"That is acceptable. We shall leave and return in that time," she said, bowing to the Allfather.

"Ah!" Loki said in a slight panic, drawing the confused attention of every Asgardian in the room. He swallowed uncomfortably, "Perhaps… perhaps it would be beneficial for a jotunn to stay here, if possible, and help me to prepare for the trip." His eyes flitted to Kolga, who's lip had turned up slightly though she did not look at him.

"We can find a way to arrange that, if you find that acceptable," Odin replied, glancing over at the envoy.

"I do not know if anyone would be willing to," she said quietly.

"I would," Kolga volunteered quietly, earning the dirtiest look that the other jotunn could manage without risking trouble from the allfather. Loki found himself having to literally bite his tongue to avoid showing his reaction to that.

"Very well. I trust that my sons can watch over you until everything is sorted out properly," Odin said, standing up, "I believe that everything you wished to address has now been sorted."

"It has, Allfather," the envoy agreed, bowing again, "We shall now take our leave, if you permit it." He nodded, and the jotunn accept Kolga left the room. Kolga nervously stood at this point, looking at the allfather who had now turned his attention towards her. Loki glanced at her and bit his lip, suddenly feeling guilty for his selfishness in wanting her to stay.

"I am afraid that the people of my realm do not have the best view of your race. However, as long as you are here you shall be under my protection. If you wish it, I can order guards to watch over you," Odin told her.

She nodded jerkily, "I… I don't know if that will be necessary, but thank you for your hospitality."

"Father, I can help watch over her and arrange it if more protection is needed," Thor offered. A few moments after this Odin had agreed to leave the matter to Thor's discretion and dismissed the three. They walked back out of the throne room, Kolga visibly shaken up.

As soon as the doors closed behind them, the guard stood against a wall and placed both of her hands to her face. "I've never so much as seen the ruler of _Jotunnheim_ but the _Allfather_ just spoke directly to me." She pulled her hands down so that her eyes were peaking out over her fingers and looked at Loki, "That was terrifying."

"I'm so sorry," he told her, placing a hand on her shoulder, "I wish I could have thought of a way to avoid that."

She took her hands off her face completely and took a deep breath before standing up straight and smiling down at him, "It's fine."

"I missed you."

"I noticed," she said with a smirk.

Thor cleared his throat slightly to remind his brother that he _was_ still there. Loki smiled apologetically at him, "Thor- this is Kolga. She was my guide when I was on Jotunnheim. And Kolga, this is my brother, Thor, God of Thunder."

Kolga bowed to him, a motion that he returned. An uncomfortable silence fell for a moment before Thor broke it. "Maybe we should go somewhere less public. Is there anywhere you wished to go?"

He had directed the question at both of them, and Kolga turned to Loki to make it clear that she had no preferences. The trickster suddenly felt odd about being put on the spot, though he wasn't sure why.

"It would probably be easiest to go to my quarters and decide if we need a plan," he said quietly. The others agreed and they began walking that way in silence, Thor in the lead with Loki hanging back next to Kolga. If the thunder god was at all annoyed at being a third wheel in this situation, he didn't show it.

After they'd been walking for a few moments, Kolga glanced over Loki's outfit and raised an eyebrow, "You aren't going to get back at me and try to get me into a get up like that, are you?"

Loki chuckled softly, shaking his head, "No- although I think you may prefer to. It's much warmer here than you're used to."

"That is true…" she murmured, "I've just been chilling the air around me, but that'd be easier… and probably more appreciated." She glanced at Thor when she finished that comment.

He noticed this and smiled warmly at her, "We have thicker skin than you may give us credit for, but I admit that the chill does get a bit uncomfortable." The thunder god shook his head with a chuckle, "Although I would like to see the response if you did that trick in one of the public baths."

"And people call _me_ a trickster," Loki said with a slight sniff before smiling at his brother, who returned the smile.

When they reached Loki's quarters, he suddenly became incredibly self conscious. Kolga looked around the main room, realizing that there were a few other rooms attached to it. He felt odd for having such grand and, honestly, unnecessarily so living arrangements, remembering what she and most of Jotunnheim were living in.

"Well, it's not awful," she said casually, trying not to sound too impressed. She looked over at him, "I'm a bit surprised it's not covered in ice, though."

"My bedroom is," he said with a soft laugh, "but I feared my brother," he glanced over at Thor, "would be displeased if this room were."

"I have no qualms with what you do to your own quarters, brother," he replied, "I was only angry for what you did to Jane's home because it was not yours."

Loki nodded, "Of course. I shall have to fix this, then. Later."

"I'll help if you want," Kolga added.

"If you two think you can stay in here for some time, I would like to go sort some things out," Thor said at this point. He genuinely did have some things to do, but mostly he was sick of feeling like he was intruding on something. He also couldn't help but feel jealous that his brother seemed happier in the presence of this stranger than he'd seen him in years.

"You don't have to," Loki said quietly.

Thor smiled at him, "It's fine, there are things I want to do." He went to the door before pausing and grinning at his brother, "Including having to tell Fandral about this development, I think he'd be interested to know.

The thunder god left quickly, before Loki could formulate a response. All he managed after his brother had left was, "I'm starting to think I'm a bad influence on him."

"Why? Who's Fandral?" Kolga asked, feeling a bit more comfortable with the Asgardian gone but still on edge in such fine surroundings.

The trickster rolled his eyes, "I believe my brother has decided that I need to socialize more… Fandral is a friend of his, and someone who has somewhat recently started asking me about my life and trying to get to know me better." He scrunched his nose as he said the last part, and Kolga shook her head.

"You opened up to me well enough," she pointed out with a smile.

"That was different."

"How so?"

Loki paused for a moment, unsure how to answer. "It just is," he said quietly, knowing how pathetic that answer was, "Even if it isn't- he may come by. I hope you don't mind."

"How is he about frost giants?" she asked quietly.

"He's responded well enough to my being one," he replied, licking his lips uncertainly, "I can tell him to leave if you wish."

"I'll give him a chance first."

There was an awkward silence as they both hoped that this was the right thing to do. After enough of this Loki shook his head, "You're free to sit wherever you like. I'm going to change into something more comfortable, I'll be right back."

Kolga did sit down awkwardly. The chairs were rather soft, something she was unused to, and made for a race smaller than her own. She looked around the room again and sighed heavily, hoping she would not come to regret this.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Apologies for the long delay! Hopefully that won't happen again!

* * *

><p>A knock came at the door before Loki had finished changing. Kolga froze where she sat, her eyes darting between it and the door Loki had disappeared behind. After another knock came, she nervously called out, "Who is it?" She hoped that this was something Asgard considered normal as well, it seemed a basic enough concept.<p>

Unfortunately, no answer came, instead the door was opened by an Asgardian man, dressed in armor and brandishing a sword- clearly ready to use it. Kolga automatically coated her arm in ice to turn it into a weapon, at the same time as shouting for Loki.

The trickster dashed out, one boot still on (to his eternal embarrassment) and, upon seeing the situation, stopped and heaved a heavy sigh. Seeing this, Fandral was quick to sheath his sword and hold up both his hands, smiling nervously at the terrified, and liable to attack, frost giant.

"I apologize," he said, "I heard an unfamiliar voice and assumed…" the warrior shook his head and instead bowed, "It matters not. Please forgive me."

Kolga looked warily at Loki, who sighed heavily, "This is Fandral, he's…. harmless." The dashing warrior scowled slightly at this but said nothing when he realized that the frost giant was still armed and watching him carefully.

"Fandral," the trickster continued, glancing at him with a glare, "This is Kolga. She is my guest. While I… tolerate your presence in my life, I would appreciate you not threaten those I ask to be in it."

"He already apologized," Kolga said quietly, shifting her weight and returning her arm to normal. She looked into Fandral's eyes for a moment, "He was trying to protect you- right?"

"I was," the warrior said quietly, rubbing his neck. Loki gave him a surprised look but quickly regained his composure and merely shrugged. Fandral gave Kolga a fond smile and again bowed to her, this time with a flourish and he kept his eyes on her, "I should have known better- Thor told me that you were visiting. It's a pleasure to meet you, Kolga."

Kolga smiled and ran a hand over her hair, which went down her back in a short braid, "It's nice to meet you as well, Fandral." She glanced at Loki properly for the first time since he had entered the room and smirked, "I didn't realize I'd had such an effect on you."

The trickster looked down at his bare torso and almost bare feet and felt suddenly very self-conscious about it. "It just feels more comfortable," he said quietly.

Kolga chuckled gently, walking over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder, "That's fine, I'm glad then."

"I've never seen you about like that," Fandral said gently, "Are you still concerned about how people will react?"

Loki nodded, "Would you not be?"

"I don't know if I'd even have the courage to walk through Asgard looking like a frost giant," he admitted with a sad smile, looking away. Again, the trickster gave him a surprised look. This time he did not work so hard to cover it up.

He looked down uncertainly, "Thank you."

Fandral looked over at him, "There is no need." They fell into silence for a few moments before he looked over at Kolga, who was fidgeting slightly with her braid. "Kolga- Thor told me that you were a guard. I take it you know how to fight?"

"Yes," she said warily, taking a step backwards, "Why?"

Again Fandral held his hands up, this time with a charming smile, "I have a friend, a warrior goddess named Sif, who may like to speak with you."

"Oh, really?" she asked, softening and smiling slightly. She looked over at Loki for some sign of confirmation or indication if it was a good idea.

The trickster had a brooding look on his face but when he noticed Kolga's gaze he shrugged, "I've never liked her, personally. But since you can fight you at least have something in common with her."

"Why don't you like her?" Kolga asked curiously.

Loki shrugged and looked away slightly, "I was a bit of a prankster in my youth and she never cared for it."

"You could go a _bit_ far sometimes..." Fandral agreed, bracing himself for a glare that never came. Instead, the trickster shrank into himself slightly. He quickly added, "But very rarely, and your mischief did keep things interesting."

"I suppose it did," Loki said softly, glancing over at Kolga, "You may enjoy a conversation, or sparring match, with her."

"In that case, Fandral, right?" the frost giant asked, the warrior smiled at her, "I would appreciate it if you could arrange for me to meet with her."

He bowed, "It would be an honor."

Kolga smiled at him and bowed slightly in return. Loki glanced between them and fidgeted slightly.

"I realize today is your first day here, and I will bother you no longer," Fandral said gently, his eyes darting towards Loki briefly as he spoke, "It was a pleasure to meet you Lady Kolga and, as always, a pleasure to see you, Loki."

"It was lovely to meet you as well," she said, biting her lip and smiling broadly at the 'Lady'. The trickster nodded his head but said nothing else, and the warrior took his leave with another bow.

"Why don't you like him?" Kolga asked, walking over to her host and frowning slightly.

Loki avoided her gaze and sighed, "He's a friend of Thor's. Growing up, my brother's friends only tolerated me because I was his brother and everyone except Thor knew it. Since..." he winced slightly at the memory of that night, "somewhat recently he's started trying to speak with me, acting as though we're friends," he looked over at Kolga, "I don't know what to do with it."

She smiled slightly at him, placing an arm on his shoulder, "If you want to, you let him be your friend. If you don't, tell him so. Maybe you were wrong about them only "tolerating" you because of your brother."

"Volstagg, who is warm and friendly to everyone, has barely ever managed to hide his contempt and Sif is openly hostile when Thor isn't around," Loki shook his head, "I wish it were the case, but I am not wrong about how they feel about me."

"What about Fandral?" Kolga asked gently. Loki looked up at her for a moment, not quite sure how to respond.

"Think about it," she said softly, still smiling at him.

The trickster did for a moment before shaking his head, "This is hardly important." He smiled nervously at her, "What is it like on Jotunnheim?"

Kolga stifled a sigh before thinking about his question, "We've been able to rebuild a great deal. A lot of progress has been made, and the casket has helped. But we do need someone who knows sorcery to take advantage of all its power."

"That's good news," he said quietly, fidgeting slightly, "I wish that... that I had not caused this in the first place. And also that when I returned the casket I had not, well, done _that_ so I could have been of more use."

"Yeah," Kolga agreed quietly, sighing a bit. She shook her head and smiled, "But that can't be helped- what matters is that you can help us now."

Loki smiled back at her slightly before looking down, "In a month, at least. I... I appreciate you staying with me, but I don't expect you to actually stay the entire time."

"You wouldn't mind?" she asked quietly.

"No, of course not," he said with a genuine smile, "It's a long time to be in a strange place, and I'm sure you're needed on Jotunnheim."

Kolga smiled back at him, "Let's see how it goes. I may like it here."

"That's true, it is possible," he said quietly.

"Now how about we make your room a bit more proper for one of us?" she said with a grin, placing a hand against the wall, ice spreading out from where she touched. Loki raised his eyebrows, gingerly touching the wall and attempting the same trick. It worked and he smiled at her.


End file.
